Apologizing is always complicated, because one of the parties must admit that they were wrong, a gesture that is never easy to do. However, if you want to save the relationship with a friend, it is important to say that you are sorry about what you did. Guys aren't as emotional as women, but they still expect an apology when it's due.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Admitting Your Mistake
Step 1. Find out what made your friend angry
As soon as you realize he is angry with you, you need to understand what you have said or done to upset him.
- You probably already know this, but if you don't, think about your recent actions in his company. What could you have said or done to make him angry?
- If you can't understand why your friend is angry, you have to ask. You can't make a sincere apology if you don't know what you've done wrong.
Step 2. Admit you made a mistake
You may have angered your friend in many different ways. An important first step in making a sincere apology is to admit to yourself that you were wrong.
It is not easy, because many people do not like to admit that they have made a mistake or made a mistake. However, this step is critical to making a sincere apology and repairing the friendship
Step 3. Find out why your mistake made your friend angry
If you are friends, you should know him well. To sincerely apologize, it's important to know why your actions upset him.
- Have you offended his values or principles?
- Did you hurt his feelings?
- Did you lie to him?
- Have you offended his family or a close friend?
- Did you physically hurt him?
Step 4. Decide how to apologize
In general, an apology in person is preferable. However, if you don't have a chance to meet your friend, your best bet is to write a letter addressed to him or call him.
Most people advise against writing an apology per text, because they don't seem sincere. You would let your friend know that you don't have time or that you don't want to waste it on apologizing in person and that you don't value your relationship
Step 5. Plan your apologies after your friend has had time to let off some steam
If you have decided to talk to him in person, ask him if he is willing to meet you the following day. Otherwise, write him a letter or wait a day before calling him.
- It is best for both of you to spend some time so that you can calm down and observe the situation from a more detached point of view. In some cases, an immediate apology seems false and an act of selfishness. However, don't wait too long, or resentment will grow.
- While you wait, prepare for an apology.
Part 2 of 3: Apologize for Your Actions
Step 1. Decide what you will say
It is important to start talking by already knowing what you are going to say. Generally, kids don't like turns of phrase; it is much better to get straight to the point.
- "I have to apologize for what I did."
- "I'm sorry for what I said the other day."
- "I owe you an apology for the way I behaved."
- "I want to apologize for the way I treated you."
Step 2. Don't justify the actions that angered your friend
Often it will just seem like you are looking for excuses for your behavior.
If you really feel the need to motivate your actions, it is best to choose words that blame yourself. For example: "I said those bad things about you because I felt the pressure to integrate into that group of people." Avoid phrases like, "I know I shouldn't have said those things, but you wanted it."
Step 3. Take full responsibility for your actions
In some cases, the blame for the misunderstanding falls on both. However, during your apology, it is best to accept responsibility for what you did.
- "I recognize that I was wrong".
- "I know I was being rude and you didn't deserve such treatment."
- "I am aware that I have made a mistake".
- "I made a mistake and I accept the reality of the facts".
Step 4. Explain how you will be forgiven
When you hurt a friend's feelings or make him angry for some reason, he can lose faith in you. One way to rebuild it is to show him that you value your relationship and want to mend it.
- "I'll buy you another one, since I broke it."
- "I don't like that they tried to get me to treat you badly in order to accept me, so I decided not to hang out with them anymore. I already have very good friends, like you."
- "I'll apologize to your family too. I really said a horrible thing."
- "From now on I will always be honest with you. Our friendship means a lot to me."
Step 5. Apologize to your friend
Once you've thought about everything you want to say, it's time to get down to business.
- Meet him in person or call him. If you have decided to write him a letter, leave it where he can find it or mail it to him.
- Remember not to make any further excuses when you speak.
- Stay calm as you offer your apology. Crying would make him feel guilty, when instead you are the one who made a mistake and getting angry could trigger a fight.
- Let him interrupt you if he feels angry or wants to say something and don't react negatively if you don't like what he says. This will let him know that you are sincere and that you respect his friendship.
Part 3 of 3: Continue After the Apology
Step 1. If your friend doesn't accept your apology, respect their decision
In some cases, he may not be willing to forgive you. Unfortunately you have to accept it.
- Don't get mad at him and don't yell at him. He has the right to refuse your apology, and if you've really offended or hurt him, that's a real possibility.
- If your mistake cost your friendship, you must take responsibility for what happened.
- Don't beg for forgiveness and don't ask what you can do to recover. Instead, take the initiative and try to regain his trust by acting without his direction.
Step 2. Show your friend that your apologies are heard
When you talked to him, you probably told him how you will be forgiven. Let him know that you were sincere in keeping those promises.
- Do whatever it takes to be forgiven, without complaining. Your protests would invalidate your apology and could shift the blame to your friend.
- If your friend has refused your apology, it's even more important to keep your word, as this is the best way to regain their trust.
Step 3. Let the negative episode become history
Once you have apologized and the misunderstanding has been healed, it is best to leave the past behind.
Don't come back to the issue, regardless of whether your apology was accepted or rejected. If your friend has accepted them, talking about them will be annoying and could lead to other problems. If he has rejected them, insisting too much may cause him to be pushed away
Advice
- Be brief. You don't have to apologize to a long conversation or an interminable letter. Tell him what you need to say and turn the page.
- Consider the situation from his point of view to better understand why he is angry with you.
