Everyone wants to be appreciated, even those who swear they don't think it's important. Yet many face their lives, or at least a phase, thinking they are not liked by anyone. This article will give you tips on what to do to feel and be more valued, perhaps instantly making a good impression.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Communication Skills
Step 1. Show your funny side, but don't act like a fool
The classic guy who makes jokes in class or arranges pranks that always pull a smile on his face is usually quite popular. Being genuinely funny is certainly not easy, but it is important to please people. Be nice and play the joke in the company of others.
Step 2. There is a rule to remember:
people tend to be self-centered. The first step in pleasing someone is easy to do. All you have to do is show interest. This in fact stimulates to talk about oneself. Lead the conversation, making sure you focus on their life and that they believe that they are the ones driving the conversation.
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Try to understand their interests and ask questions about them. For example, by talking to a person, you may understand that his passion is rock climbing on weekends. Learn more about this hobby.
Ask her more questions about this interest: "How did you start climbing?", "Why do you like it?" or "What is the place that most impressed you?"
- These answers will lead to other questions. At that point, you can ask for even more information or develop a conversation based on one of them. In any case, your interlocutor will be struck by your interest and will be happy to be able to talk about an activity that is so important to him.
Step 3. Talk about positive arguments
Generally speaking, everyone prefers to feel happy and cheerful, so people are happier to talk about optimistic, not negative, topics. Bringing up discomforting topics or overdoing complaints can put others in an uncomfortable position, and sometimes this causes a conversation to drift away. Instead, do what you can to share the happiest or most beautiful aspects of your life, involving others and encouraging them to tell you about their experiences.
- Talk about what you love to do, and show genuine enthusiasm. Although your interlocutor knows practically nothing about your passion, the energy that emerges from your words will give him a positive charge. And it's contagious. For example, this person may have never heard of Tom Ford's clothes, but you can spark some interest in the subject by demonstrating your love for fashion and the experience you have in telling it.
- If this is your first time talking to someone, steer clear of dangerous topics such as religion and politics. In case of different ideologies or beliefs, most people end up automatically judging the other person, so it's best to reserve these discussions for another time.
- If you want to talk about a negative topic or experience, turn the anecdote into a funny story. Having a good sense of humor helps you impress people right off the bat, especially if you can turn a shocking or boring story into a light and compelling one. Look at yourself and your life with a critical eye for a pinch of humor. If everyone knows that you don't take yourself seriously, it's not a problem to be self-mocking at all.
- Develop a sense of humor of your own. There are people who are particularly good at expressing their comedy in a physical way between imitations and various "antics". Others have a drier humor, and prefer puns and cynical jokes. Try to figure out what kind of humor suits you in order to personalize it.
- Find the fun side of those things that no one dwells on. A truly effective sense of humor is often inspired by everyday experiences, those we mechanically live every day. Take note of the funny anecdotes you live; you can write them down in a notebook or store them in your memory. When the perfect time comes to bring up this topic, share your experience with others.
- Don't be mad when a joke fails. Witty gimmicks don't always work out or are fun. Don't worry, look at the glass half full: no one remembers the jokes that don't make you laugh! They only remember the hilarious ones. Consequently, whenever you get discouraged because you don't think you're nice or you can't have a shrewd exit at the right time, don't forget that soon you'll have another chance and you'll be able to make better use of it.
Part 2 of 3: Taking Care of Your Appearance
Step 1. Pay attention to body language
The way you put yourself communicates a lot more than you think: people are grasping information about you without even realizing it. Much of this communication is not consciously controlled: it is unconscious. Training the body to express itself in the right way is essential to be considered pleasant.
- Don't forget to make eye contact with everyone you talk to. A look can be incredibly expressive. Use it well! Eye contact lets someone know that you care, that you are listening to what they are saying. If her eyes are wandering here and there or staring at the floor, it will make her think that you are distracted or insecure.
- You smile. Nothing simpler. Several studies have shown that smiling people are considered more reliable, and those who smile often tend to live longer than those who always take on frowning expressions. Smile with your eyes when you are truly happy to see someone or talk to them.
- Seems attentive. You don't have to give the impression that you are too absorbed in yourself or distracted by something else. When introducing you to someone, it is essential to communicate your interest. Before you go to a party or other event, repeat a small pep talk to yourself, have a cup of coffee, or find an effective method of concentration.
- Avoid unknowingly sending signals of boredom or disinterest through body language. Crossing your hands in front of your chest indicates that you are bored and do not want them to talk to you. Sighing deeply means you feel repulsed or frustrated. Stomping your feet repeatedly means you are in a hurry. Clenching your hand into a fist indicates nervousness or anger.
Step 2. Try to look like a friendly and charming person
You don't have to dress like others, but you do need to be open, honest, sincere, outgoing, friendly and clean. This is important for one simple reason: when we see someone for the first time, we form an opinion about them in the first 30 seconds.
- Take care of your personal hygiene. Shampoo, clean your nails, brush your teeth and use deodorant. Being clean is essential to making a good impression. If you are a boy and have a beard, it still needs to be taken care of.
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Wear nice clothes. You don't need a model's wardrobe to create elegant combinations. In the wardrobe, classic and versatile clothes cannot be missing, while you can give up on trendy and showy ones. It's easy to be refined by wearing clothing that never goes out of style, so invest in these garments.
If you can't buy new clothes, then invest in quality clothing when you can afford it. You will probably keep it for a long time and you can use it to gradually inspire you in creating a qualitatively good wardrobe
Part 3 of 3: Beyond Words
Step 1. Put your interlocutor at ease
Of course, not everyone gives the same definition to the expression “to feel at ease”, but in general there are aspects that everyone has in common. Also, work hard to make this person feel special. Keep in mind that everyone likes to feel unique when they talk to someone.
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Every so often, use physical contact properly. This can mean shaking someone's hand or greeting them more affectionately. If your gestures communicate confidence, positivity, and friendliness, people will likely have no problem getting close to you.
Pat on the back is usually acceptable among men, while hugging is generally more common among women. Pay attention to the type of physical contact you establish with a person of the opposite sex. Women can send equivocal signals to men in an innocent attempt to be friendly. On the other hand, men can also make this mistake
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If the context is right, don't be afraid to flirt. Everyone likes to get this kind of special attention. Flirting is a good way to get close to people.
Women can usually flirt by looking someone in the eye and smiling at them. Men, on the other hand, tend to compliment their appearance, joke around, or offer drinks
Step 2. Be energetic and enthusiastic
You know what you do well and what you don't like. Whatever you do, show your more active and passionate side through the voice, body and confidence you give off.
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Try to have a lively and pleasant tone of voice. Moderate the sharpness, so that it conveys a lot of energy and emotion (DJs do well, although you generally shouldn't speak exactly like a speaker).
- Try not to stammer or say too many “uhm” or “uhm”. It is a sign of nervousness. If you mumble often, speak slower. Mentally review the concept of what you are going to say before expressing it out loud.
- If it comes naturally, men can try to lower their voices. Several studies have shown that a man with a more severe voice attracts more sexual partners. In any case, if it doesn't come naturally to you, don't try to do it. It is much better to keep a calm and relaxed voice than to insist on changing it.
- Be yourself. Finally, this is the golden rule to please people. You can change different traits of yourself, but you cannot change your personality. You are who you are. And it's great, because everyone is special in their own way, everyone has a gift that no one else has.
