Have you moved to a new city for study or work reasons? Are you on vacation or are you on another short trip? If you have clicked on this article, you are probably feeling some emotions that can be summed up in a very simple expression: homesick. Not everyone has the same symptoms, but in general, homesickness can make you feel sad, stressed, isolated, or lonely. Anyone can happen to miss their home for one reason or another, even if it were small things, like an old pillow or a peculiar smell. This nostalgia can affect people of all ages, in whatever situation they are in, so don't be ashamed when all you want to do is go home. Here are some methods to try to be able to deal with all the emotions that arise and learn to love the new environment in which you live.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Develop Strategies to Deal With It
Step 1. Try to understand the causes of homesickness
These emotions arise from the all-human need to have bonds, love and security. Despite the name, homesickness often has nothing to do with the actual home. All familiar, stable, comfortable, and positive experiences can cause such nostalgia at the exact moment they fail. Research has shown that the kind of pain that homesickness causes is comparable to grief over a breakup or death.
You may also experience preventive homesickness, which means you develop emotions such as anxiety, loss, or obsession with what you will walk away from before you even leave, just in preparation for the breakup
Step 2. Recognize the symptoms of homesickness
Having these emotions doesn't just mean missing your home. These sensations can cause a wide variety of feelings and side effects, which have a potential impact on everyday behavior. Learning to recognize the symptoms can help you understand why you feel this way and take actions to improve the situation.
- Nostalgia. Nostalgia occurs when you frequently think about your home, or about familiar elements or people. Usually, you do this in an idealized way. You may worry when you think about your home or find yourself constantly comparing your new situation to the old one, which irremediably emerges victorious.
- Depression. People who are homesick often experience a certain depression because the social support they had is lacking. You may also feel that you have less control over your life, which can make your depression worse. The most common signs of depression caused by homesickness include emotions such as sadness, disorientation, lack of belonging, withdrawal from social activities, academic or work difficulties, feelings of helplessness or abandonment, low self-esteem, and changes in sleeping habits. Not wanting to know more about the activities you used to do before, or not appreciating them anymore, is often another alarm bell.
- Anxiety. Anxiety is a hallmark of homesickness. This psychic state could cause obsessive thoughts, especially about your home or the people you miss. You may also have trouble concentrating, or you may feel extremely stressed, without being able to pinpoint a cause. You may easily become irritated or respond poorly to the people around you in the new environment. In extreme cases, anxiety can trigger other responses, such as agoraphobia (fear of open spaces) or claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces).
- Abnormal behaviors. Feeling homesick can disrupt your daily routine and change the way you react to things. For example, you are generally not an easily irritable person, however, since you moved, you tend to get nervous or scream more than usual. This could be a symptom of acute nostalgia. You may also be eating significantly more or less than usual. Other symptoms include frequent headaches; You may also feel more pain than normal or get sick more often than before.
Step 3. Surround yourself with familiar objects
Having elements with you that make you rethink your home can help you alleviate nostalgia, because in fact they offer you an anchor, a point of support. Objects that have great sentimental or cultural value, such as family photos or an article linked to your cultural identity, can help you feel a certain bond with your land while you are away.
However, don't overload the new spaces with things you brought with you from the old house. To adapt to your new life, it is important to embrace the changes you are experiencing
Step 4. Engage in activities that you enjoyed doing at home
According to research, doing those activities you miss can cheer you up. Traditions and rituals can help you perpetuate a certain bond with your land even when you are far away.
- Cook your favorite dishes at home. Not surprisingly, in English there is an expression, or comfort food, which indicates those dishes capable of pampering the palate and the soul. Eating foods that remind you of your childhood or culture can make you feel happier and safer in your new environment. Try offering your favorite dishes to your new friends. This will strengthen the connection between your familiar sources of comfort and new sources of emotional support.
- If you have religious traditions, don't neglect them. Research has shown that those with certain habits related to their cult or faith feel less homeless when perpetuating them in the new place where they live. Finding a place of worship or meditation in your new city, or even hanging out with a group of like-minded friends, can help adapt.
- Look for activities similar to what you did at home. If you regularly played bowling in your city or attended a reading club, don't be shy - do your research to find something similar in the new environment. You will be able to do those activities you loved and, in the meantime, get to know other people.
Step 5. Share your feelings with others
Some think that talking about one's nostalgia can cause certain emotions to appear or make the situation worse, but it is a myth to dispel. In fact, research has shown that this is not true. In fact, sharing your emotions and experiences can help you get nostalgic head on. Such feelings can only be exacerbated if you don't recognize them.
- Find a trusted person to talk to. An older student, guidance counselor, parent, close friend, or psychotherapist can listen to you in an attentive and empathic way. Often, they will be able to give you advice on how to deal with your feelings.
- Remember that seeking help does not make you a "weak" or "crazy" person. Having the strength to admit that you need a hand is a sign of courage and self-care, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Step 6. Keep a journal
Having a journal will help you connect with your thoughts and process everything that happens in the new environment. Whether you are studying abroad, attending university elsewhere, are in summer camp or have simply moved to a new city, chances are you will experience a lot of new and unfamiliar sensations. Having a journal can help you keep track of your thoughts. Research has shown that writing a journal to reflect on your experiences and their impact on an inner level can be helpful in alleviating homesickness.
- Try to have an optimistic point of view. While it is normal to feel lonely and nostalgic, it is important to look for the positive side of new experiences. Think about the fun activities you are doing. When you have a new experience, consider the similarities you can do with something wonderful that belongs to your land. If you only talk about the unhappiness that clouds your days, you risk worsening the nostalgia.
- Make sure that the journal does not contain only and exclusively lists of negative feelings and events. When processing a bad experience, take a moment to reflect and talk about why it makes you feel the way it does. This strategy is called "narrative reflection" and has a therapeutic purpose.
Step 7. Get lots of physical activity
According to research, exercise promotes the release of endorphins, a good mood hormone naturally secreted by the body. Endorphins can help you fight anxiety and depression, two common side effects of homesickness. If you can, exercise with other people. This will give you the chance to socialize and broaden your circle of acquaintances.
Physical activity can also strengthen the immune system. Homesickness could manifest itself through poor health (for example, you often suffer from headaches or colds)
Step 8. Talk to friends and family who live in your hometown
Staying in touch with loved ones can help you feel supported and connected to them, which is important for adapting to a new place.
- Build self-esteem and independence to effectively combat homesickness. Don't focus so much on the loved ones you left behind that you don't learn to take care of yourself.
- Talking to friends and family can make homesickness worse for very young children or people who have been away for a short time.
- Plus, you can spend time on social networks to stay in touch with your friends and find out how they're doing. However, don't focus too much on your old friendships, as otherwise you risk not having time to nurture new ones.
Step 9. Don't get obsessed with your land
While staying in touch with people left at home can be a great strategy to feel better, it can also become a crutch that prevents you from walking independently. The desire to keep contacts and memories alive shouldn't take over the new life. If instead of going for coffee with a new friend you decide to stay home and hear from your mother for the third time in a day, you should review and readjust the time you spend on cultivating new relationships.
Organize phone calls at certain times. Set limits on how often and how long you chat with friends and family back home. You could also try writing letters by hand and mailing them. They are great ways to stay in touch with loved ones without letting nostalgia for the past stop you from savoring the present
Method 2 of 3: Get closer to Other People
Step 1. Make a list of what you are missing
When you are away from your loved ones, it is more than normal to miss them. Make a list of the people you miss and what they brought to your life. What memories do you keep most jealously? What experiences did you share? What aspects of their personalities did you appreciate? Seeking new friends similar to the ones you left can get you back that much-needed emotional support. It can also help you adjust to the new place or situation.
Try to make the new environment more like what you are missing. Research on homesickness has shown that when you can find familiar aspects in the new situation, you are less likely to miss your old life because you focus on something positive
Step 2. Get involved
It's easy to tell yourself over and over that you need to get out of your shell and make new friends, but doing it actually can be difficult in a new place. The most effective way to cultivate a solid social support network is to create the right conditions for getting to know other people, especially if you have similar interests. Getting involved in new activities can also help you distract yourself from the emotions aroused by homesickness.
- For example, if you have moved to study, there are a wide variety of student-run clubs, sports associations, businesses and government entities that you can join. They can help you get to know other people, and many people are probably as nostalgic as you are!
- If you have moved for business or family reasons, it can be difficult to find new friends. Research has shown that making friends after college can be more complicated. The secret is consistency: joining a group that organizes frequent meetings, such as a reading club or workshop, generally helps to make friends because it allows you to see the same people regularly.
Step 3. Share with others what you loved doing at home
One of the main actions to combat nostalgia is to make new friends. With a solid support network, it's rare to have trouble coping with homelessness, even when you feel it. Sharing positive memories about your land will help you cheer up and not feel sad when you talk about it.
- Organize a party that allows you to share your cooking or other habits with new friends or acquaintances. Whether you're studying abroad or attending college in another city, letting other people discover your favorite foods can make you feel better. A themed party is what it takes; for example, teach some friends to prepare the typical dishes you prefer, or invite someone for a snack based on traditional products.
- Share your favorite music with other people. If you come from an area where a certain genre of music is widespread, prepare a small meeting. Ask your guests to bring board games. You can get to know each other better while your favorite songs are the soundtrack. If you liked listening to jazz music when you were at home, then make some CDs of this genre. Music doesn't have to have a direct connection with your land, the important thing is that it makes you remember it.
- Tell funny stories about your past experiences. Sure, you're definitely not in the mood, but try sharing some fun anecdotes about what you enjoyed doing in your hometown. Talking about memories you treasure can strengthen the bond you have with your land and with your new friends.
- If you live in a place where another language is spoken, try teaching your friends a few simple Italian phrases. It will be fun, recreational and educational for them.
Step 4. Be brave
Feeling shy, clumsy, or vulnerable is a common side effect of homesickness. If you don't take any risks, you will miss out on experiences that could help you adapt to the new situation. Try to accept invitations to parties and gatherings, even if you don't know many people who will attend. You certainly don't have to be the life of the party! Being present and listening to others is already a good starting point.
- If you are shy, set manageable goals. Initially, introduce yourself and talk to a single stranger. Socializing will likely come naturally to you over time. Concentrate on listening to your interlocutor - this is the most effective method there is to establish a bond.
- Even if you don't eventually make friends during a certain party or event, at least you will have proved to yourself that you can handle new and unfamiliar experiences. This can strengthen your self-esteem.
Step 5. Get out of your comfort zone
Doing the same things as always is reassuring, but it's important to force yourself out of the comfort zone to grow and change. Research has shown that a moderate level of anxiety, such as the one you experience when acquiring a new skill, can improve intellectual and interpersonal performance. Feeling too comfortable, on the other hand, can prevent you from adapting to your new environment.
- Start by taking baby steps. Trying to face your greatest fear at once could be counterproductive. Forcing yourself to do a completely unknown activity could leave you feeling overwhelmed. Set yourself small, doable goals that challenge you little by little.
- Try a new restaurant in the city you moved to. Sit next to a stranger in the cafeteria. Ask a classmate to study with you. Invite a co-worker to go for a drink when you leave the office.
Method 3 of 3: Create New Bonds
Step 1. Learn to appreciate the unique features of your new environment
Trying to make friends in a new city can be challenging, but it's also helpful in fighting homesickness. Getting in tune with the most interesting and exciting proposals of the situation you are in could help you establish a deeper connection with this new life.
- For example, if you study or live abroad, find out about all the museums, palaces, typical restaurants and cultural traditions that make this country unique. Buy a guide and make a commitment to have at least one cultural experience per week.
- Immerse yourself in the local culture. Even if you have moved to an Italian city, you may still find that the culture of the place is definitely different from what you were used to. Learn dialect expressions, try typical dishes and take a tour of bars and pubs. Sign up for a cooking class focused on using local ingredients. Try taking traditional dance lessons. Honing your intercultural communication skills can make you feel at home in the new city.
- Ask the locals what their favorite activities are. You might get good advice for finding the best Mexican restaurant in the area, or driving directions to a gorgeous, uncrowded lake.
Step 2. Learn the language
If you've moved to another country, not being able to speak the language can be a huge barrier to developing that infamous sense of belonging. Learn as fast as possible: sign up for a class, chat with local people and practice your new skills. Once you are able to communicate with the people around you in the new environment, you will feel more confident and independent.
Step 3. Get out of the house
To combat nostalgia, going out is essential. If you're just watching reruns of The Office in the dark for eight straight hours, it's okay to get depressed. Instead, commit to spending a good chunk of your time away from home. Just go and read the same book you would have read in your room in a sunny park. Instead of doing situps in your room, take a long walk with a good friend.
Work or study outside the home. Go to a coffee shop or park to get the same job done as you would have done at home. You just need to surround yourself with people to be able to feel less alone
Step 4. Look for a new interest
Trying new experiences on your own can help you find your true passion; you can thus have a positive and fruitful activity on which to focus your energies and which will distract you from emotions such as sadness or loneliness. Learning a new skill can also help you get out of the comfort zone.
Try to find a hobby that is related to your new environment. Find out about the cycling or hiking clubs in the area. Sign up for an art class. Look for a creative writing workshop. If you can socialize while developing a new skill, it will be easier to connect with the place you moved to
Step 5. Don't rush
If you don't fall in love with the new city, don't feel disappointed in yourself. Many people around you may have gotten used to it faster, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. In fact, so many people who apparently seem to have fun like never before actually feel a great homesickness. Be patient and remember that with a little persistence, you will be able to make your new life work.
Advice
- Homesickness can be experienced by people of all ages. If you are an adult and you miss your land because you moved to a new city for work, there is nothing wrong with that. This is absolutely normal.
- Get closer to others. Maybe you feel like you're the only one feeling homesick, especially if you've just moved elsewhere for study. However, by talking to your classmates, you will likely find that others feel exactly like you. Sharing your feelings could help those around you get used to it too.
- Whenever you can, focus on the positive aspects of the new environment. For example, think about new dishes to try in this place that were not available in your city.
- Try to solve your problems. If you are feeling low and can't understand why, try to critically analyze the moments when you happen to be sad. Does the situation get worse when you think about a friend you left behind? Are you sad to watch your favorite old movie? Try to understand what are the mechanisms that trigger homesickness.
- If you have moved abroad, learn the language as quickly as possible. Being able to communicate with the locals will make you feel like you have some control over your new life and will help you connect with others.
Warnings
- Severe depression and bad anxiety can have debilitating side effects. If they have a deleterious impact on your daily habits (for example, you can't get out of bed or you have lost all interest in what you once loved), you should contact a therapist.
- In the most extreme cases, homesickness could instigate suicidal emotions or thoughts. If you have any ideas or feelings of this nature, seek help right away. You can call an ambulance (the number depends on where you are) or contact a special switchboard, such as Telefono Amico (199 284 284).
