How To Be Mature (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Maturity is not just a question of age. There are mature people who are 6 and others as immature as 80. In fact, it is based on the way you treat yourself and others, so it is characterized by how you think and behave. Therefore, if you are tired of all the childish conversations and quarrels you see around you or if you want people to be more respectful towards you, try some of these techniques so you can become more mature. Regardless of your age, if you are wise and balanced you will always be able to prove yourself to be the most adult person in the group.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Developing Mature Behaviors

Step 1. Cultivate your interests

Lack of extensive and dynamic interests or hobbies could contribute to an unripe image of yourself. By finding something you enjoy doing and can become a "connoisseur" of, you can appear more experienced and mature. You will also have conversation points in the company of people, even if they don't share the same passions as you.

Keep your hobbies active and productive. It's great fun to do a TV show marathon, but it's not the best way to spend your time. That's not to say you can't watch movies, TV, and play video games, but they shouldn't be the only things to focus on and spend your time on.
Passions can boost your self-esteem and boost your creativity, as well as stimulate the areas of the brain that make you feel happier and more positive.
There is really no limit to the things you could do! Grab a camera and learn to capture moments and people. Choose a musical instrument. Learn a new language. Learn beatboxing techniques. Create a group for an RPG. Just make sure that whatever you choose is to your liking and that it becomes a commitment rather than a simple pastime.

Step 2. Set goals and commit to achieving them

Those who are mature know how to evaluate their strengths, determine the areas in which improvement is needed and set goals for the future. Take the future into account and let it appropriately influence your current life choices. Once you have established clear, actionable and quantifiable goals, try to move in the right direction to achieve them.

It may seem overwhelming to set goals, but don't worry! You just need some time and planning. Begin to understand what you would like to improve. For example, if you are planning to start enriching your college resume, this could be the goal to focus your efforts on.
First you need to think about some categories: who, what, when, where, how and why.
Who. He is the person who will be involved in achieving your goals. Obviously, you are the protagonist in this scenario. However, this category could also include a tutor, volunteer coordinator or consultant.
What. What do you intend to accomplish? It is important to be as precise as possible at this stage. For example, preparing for college is a boundless journey. You will never get started if you set goals that are too broad and vague. Instead, set some stakes that will help you reach a greater milestone, such as "Volunteering" and "Participating in extracurricular activities".
When. It is useful for knowing when you will need to take specific actions in your plan. This awareness will help you stay on track. For example, if you intend to volunteer, you need to know if there is a deadline to show up, when the activities will take place and when you will be able to do them.
Where is it. It is often useful for identifying where you will need to work to achieve a certain goal. Returning to the example of volunteering, you might choose to offer your contribution at an animal shelter.
Like. Thanks to this category you can have clearer ideas on how you can achieve each stage of your goal. For example, how can you contact the shelter you want to volunteer at? How do you plan to achieve it? How do you plan to balance volunteering with other responsibilities? Think about the answers to these kinds of questions.
Because. Believe it or not, this is probably the most important part. You will be much more likely to achieve a goal when it has a certain weight and you can frame it in a broader vision. Try to understand why a particular goal is important. For example, "I want to volunteer at the animal shelter to make my resume more attractive for the veterinary degree program."

Step 3. Know when to be carefree

You don't always have to look serious to be mature. True maturity is knowing those around you and trying to figure out when it is possible to have fun and when it is important to show some seriousness. It is essential to have this capacity for discernment so that you can change your actions according to the situation.

Try to devote part of the day to just having fun. You need to have a few moments as an escape valve to have fun. Give yourself some time each day (for example, after school) to indulge in some extravagant adventure.
Realize that it is usually not appropriate to joke in more formal settings, such as at school, church, work and especially at funerals. Attention is expected, not lightheartedness. As a rule, joking in these situations is a sign of immaturity.
However, informal situations, such as going out with friends or even spending time with family, are perfect occasions to have fun. They can also help you bond with others.
Set some parameters to know when it is okay or not okay to joke and behave frivolously. Don't make low-key humor or cheeky jokes.

Step 4. Be respectful of others

The world is based on mutual coexistence. If you behave by intentionally annoying people or if you do what you want without taking into account the feelings of others, people will consider you immature. If you do not neglect the needs and desires of those around you, you will be able to earn a reputation as a mature and respectful person.

Respecting others does not mean being trampled on. It means that you need to listen to them and treat them the way you want to be treated. If someone is rude or unscrupulous towards you, don't react just as badly. Be more of an adult by walking away

Step 5. Choose mature friends

Friendships affect our behavior. Try to hang out with people who make you better, instead of spending time with those who might just ruin you.

Part 2 of 4: Being Emotionally Mature

Step 1. Don't be overbearing

Bullying often stems from a sense of insecurity and low self-esteem. It can be a way to try to assert your power over others. It is detrimental for those who are victims of it and for those who are its author. If you find yourself bullying, talk to a trusted person, such as a parent or school counselor, to find out how to quit.

Bullying is divided into three basic types: verbal, social and physical.
Verbal bullying includes inappropriate insults, threats or comments. While words do not cause physical harm, they can cause deep emotional wounds. Be careful how you express yourself and don't say anything you don't want to hear.
Social bullying damages the reputation or social relationships of others. Pushing people away, spreading rumors, humiliating or spreading gossip are all typical attitudes of social bullying.
Physical bullying involves physical or material harm. All kinds of physical violence, as well as stealing or destroying someone's stuff or even making rude gestures, are forms of physical bullying.
Don't allow bullying to happen in your presence. While it is not necessary to physically intervene to stem the action of a bully - in fact, it can be very dangerous - there are various ways to create a more relaxed atmosphere. Try to:
- Set a good example by not bullying others.
- Telling a bully that his behavior is neither funny nor sympathetic.
- Be nice to someone who is being bullied.
- Telling responsible adults about bullying in a certain context.
If you feel that you have bullying and bullying attitudes, consider talking to a counselor or therapist. Obviously you will have some deeper problem that is bringing out the need to offend or take it out on others. A counselor can show you some approaches to building more positive relationships.

Step 2. Avoid gossip, rumors and talking behind others' backs

Small talk, gossip and backstabbing can hurt people just as if they were punched in the face, if not more. Even if you don't mean to do it maliciously, you still risk hurting them. Mature people care about the needs and feelings of others, do not behave in a way that causes harm.

Gossip doesn't make you a smart or nice person. Studies have shown that they can make you look like the right guy when you're in fifth grade, but generally in high school (when hopefully you've gotten more mature) gossipers aren't considered as nice and popular.
Don't encourage rumors either. If someone tries to gossip in your presence, be frank: some research shows that it can actually make a difference if even one person says, "You know, it doesn't seem fair to gossip about others."
Sometimes, it happens to say something nice about someone who is turned into a gossip by others. For example, suppose you said to a friend, "I love going out with Marta. It's so funny!" While someone else reports that you spoke badly about it. You can't control how people interpret or react to what you say. Only your words and actions are under your control. Make sure, therefore, that you are always kind.
To determine if something is gossip or a rumor, try asking yourself: "Would I want other people to hear or know this about me?". If not, don't share it with anyone.

Step 3. Try to behave like an adult if someone is unpleasant to you

If you can let it go, don't reply. Your silence will communicate that what you heard from your interlocutor was not right. If you can't gloss over, just respond by saying that his comment was impertinent. If you get an apology, accept it, otherwise walk away.

Step 4. Be open minded

Mature people are open-minded. Just because you've never learned about something or you've never tried it doesn't mean you have to quit or reject the possibility. Instead, consider it as an opportunity to get to know something (or someone) new and different.

If a person has different beliefs or habits than yours, don't judge them immediately. Rather, ask yourself some open-ended questions, such as "Could you explain me better?" or "Why did you do this?".
Try listening more than talking, at least at first. Don't interrupt people by saying "But I think _". Let them finish. You will be amazed at what you can learn.
Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn't feel right, ask for clarification before making a decision right away. For example, if you think someone just offended you because of your beliefs, take a deep breath and then reply, "I think you said _. Is that what you meant?" If the other person claims they didn't mean what you understand, accept it.
Don't expect the worst from people. Face situations with the expectation that others are just as human as you are. They probably have no intention of being inconvenient or hurting, but consider that they can also make mistakes. By learning to accept people for who they are, you will be able to be more mature.
It will happen that you don't get along with someone. It's not a problem. Sometimes you will have to accept differences if you want to be mature.

Step 5. Trust yourself

Don't apologize for any quirks or quirks you may have, even if others don't approve of them. As long as your behaviors are not antisocial and cause no harm to anyone, you should feel free to express your individuality. Mature people do not judge themselves with hindsight or try to be who they are not.

Cultivating passions and developing skills in the areas you are gifted in is a great way to build self-confidence. You will learn that you will be able to achieve everything you are suited to and that you are able to develop valid skills that can be shared with others.
Pay attention to the most critical part of you. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, consider whether you could do the same with a friend. If you can't, why should you demoralize yourself? Try reframing these kinds of thoughts by turning them into something worthwhile.
For example, you might think, "I'm a loser! I'm sorry for math and I'll never get better." It's certainly not a useful thought, and it's definitely not something you would tell a friend.
Reformulate it by trying to consider what you could do to solve the problem: "I'm not a genius at math, but I can work hard. Even if I don't get a very good grade, I'll know I've done my best."

Step 6. Be authentic

A sign of true maturity is staying true to who you are. You can have confidence in yourself without acting arrogant or conceited. A mature person doesn't need to demoralize others or pretend to be someone they don't like.

Talk about topics that truly pique your interest. If you care about something, it shows.
When you have negative thoughts about yourself, it can be tempting to deny them at all costs. For example, if you are quite worried about an exam or a test, your first reaction might be to convince yourself that nothing is scary. This way you are not being honest with yourself. It would be more mature if you admit when you feel insecure or vulnerable. Everyone goes through moments of uncertainty. This is completely normal.
Express what you hear clearly. Hesitating or engaging in passive-aggressive attitudes is not a mature or serious way of managing your emotions. Be polite and respectful, but don't be afraid to tell how you really feel.
Do what you think is right. Sometimes, people may mock you or criticize you for it. However, if you follow your principles, you know you are true to yourself. If others don't respect him, don't ask for their opinion at all.

Step 7. Accept your responsibilities

Perhaps the most important trait in becoming a mature person is accepting responsibility for one's words and actions. Remember that things don't just come crashing down on you. You have the power to act in your life, so your words and actions are fraught with consequences for both you and others. When you're wrong, admit it. Recognize that you cannot control what people do, but remember that you have the power to control what you do.

Accept your responsibilities when things go wrong. For example, if you misspell an essay, don't blame the teacher. Think about your behaviors that led to a certain result. What can you do to improve next time?
Don't worry about what would be fairer. In life, fairness and honesty don't always win. Sometimes, you may deserve something you can't get. Mature people do not allow injustices to get in the way of achieving their goals.
Take control of what you can. Sometimes you will feel like you have no control over your life. In some cases it is true. It is not possible to decide if a restaurant manager will give you a job or if the person you are interested in would like to go out with you. However, there are areas where you have full control. For instance:
- The work. You can refine and reread your resume, prepare for an interview, dress professionally, show up on time and not get hired, but have done everything in your power.
- Romantic relationships. You can be respectful, funny and kind, be yourself in the presence of your partner, expose yourself by saying that you would like to establish a relationship. These are things you can control. Even if they don't go the right way, you can rest easy because you stayed true to yourself and gave your best.
Don't accept defeat. Most of the time people give up because it's easier than trying. It's much more convenient to say "I'm a loser" than "Well, this approach didn't work, let's see what else I can do!". Accept responsibility for your choices and make further attempts, at any cost.

Part 3 of 4: Communicate like an Adult

Step 1. Keep your mood under control.

Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be tamed. Don't overreact to the little things that don't matter. If you are upset, stop and take 10 seconds to reflect on the reaction to have before doing or saying something. In this way you will avoid repenting and will be able to communicate in a more mature way.

Once you have stopped, ask yourself what is really going on. What's the real problem? Why are you upset? You may find that something happened two days ago that drove you mad and not the fact that you need to clean your room.
Think about possible solutions to the problem. Analyze a few reactions before choosing one. How can you deal with what's happening?
Consider the consequences. This is an area where many people take missteps. "Doing what I want" is usually the most tempting solution, but does it really solve the problem? Or does it make it worse? Think about what the outcome of each option can be.
Choose a solution. After considering the consequences of each option, choose the one that seems most suitable for the situation. Keep in mind that it won't always be the simplest or the funniest! Becoming mature also implies this.
If you have to say something, speak calmly and offer reasonable arguments to justify your mood. If your interlocutor just wants to argue without listening, walk away. It's not worth it.
If you are angry or on the verge of overreacting, breathe deeply and count to 10. You must maintain self-control and not let anger get the better of you.
If you are angry, people may find pleasure in provoking you. If, on the other hand, you keep your mood in check, they will lose interest in making you angry and will start to leave you alone.

Step 2. Learn the techniques of assertive communication

When adults want to communicate in a mature way, they use assertive techniques and behaviors. Assertiveness is not synonymous with boldness, arrogance or aggression, but it means expressing one's feelings and needs clearly, listening to the utterances of others. Those who are presumptuous and selfish do not care about the needs of others, but focus on getting what they want, when they want, without caring about the happiness of others. If you learn to stand up for yourself without being arrogant or aggressive, you will certainly feel more mature. Here are some ways to communicate assertively:

Formulate sentences in the first person. With those in the second person there is the risk of making the accused interlocutor feel and, consequently, inhibit him. By keeping your focus on what you feel and are experiencing, you will have the opportunity to pave the way for a profitable and mature confrontation.

For example, instead of telling your parents "You never listen to me!", Try using phrases in the first person, such as: "I feel like my point of view is not being taken into consideration." When you say you "feel / feel" something, the other person is more likely to know why
Also recognize the needs of others. Life doesn't just revolve around you. It's great to express your needs and feelings clearly, but remember to ask others what theirs are as well. Knowing how to put people first is a real sign of maturity.
Don't jump to conclusions. If you're not sure what happened with someone, ask! Don't make rash judgments because you can't be aware of every detail.
- For example, if a friend has forgotten that you were supposed to go shopping together, don't assume she doesn't care or is unreliable.
- Instead, after a phrase in the first person, follow up with an invitation to express how she feels: "I was very disappointed that you could not come shopping with me. What happened?".
Offer to collaborate with others. Instead of saying "I want to skateboard", ask the person in front of you to make a proposal: "What would you like to do?".

Step 3. Avoid speaking vulgar words

In many cultures and societies, mature people are expected to be able to communicate without swearing or swearing. Vulgarities risk creating bewilderment in others or can even give the impression that there is disrespect. If you express yourself this way, you also run the risk of being considered incompetent or a bad communicator. Instead of swearing, try to enrich your vocabulary. As you learn new words, use them to express yourself.

If you often swear when you are angry or hurt, try to have fun by making up a different exclamation. Instead of ranting when you hit your foot, it's much more fun (and more incisive) to say some creative curse like "Orca pupazza!"

Step 4. Speak politely and try not to raise your voice

If you speak loudly, especially when you are angry, it is very likely that those around you will feel uncomfortable. It can also stop giving you attention. Shouting is what babies do, not mature adults.

Use a calm, even tone of voice even when you are angry

Step 5. Watch your body language

The body can be as eloquent as words. For example, keeping your arms folded can communicate that you are not interested in what your interlocutor is saying. Standing slumped communicates that you are not really in a certain place or that you would like to be somewhere else. Learn what the body is communicating and be confident in what you want.

Keep your arms relaxed at your sides instead of crossing them across your chest.
Stand with your chest out and your head parallel to the floor.
Remember that the face also communicates. Don't roll your eyes and don't look down.

Step 6. Make mature speeches

Examples include school, news, experiences and life lessons you have learned. Of course, in some moments it is permissible to have fun with friends. It all depends on the interlocutor in front of you. You probably won't talk about the same topics with your best friend as you would with your math teacher.

Ask questions. Another index of maturity is intellectual curiosity. If all you do is talk to someone, you won't look very mature. Give the word to others. If someone says something interesting, ask them to elaborate on the topic.
Don't pretend you know what you don't know. It can be hard to admit that you don't know. After all, you want to be truly mature and knowledgeable. However, if you pretend to know something and run the risk of getting caught, you will look (and feel) like a fool. It is much more appropriate to say: "I have not read much on this subject. I will have to inform myself better!".

Step 7. Say something pleasant

If you can't say anything nice, it's best to keep quiet. Immature people constantly criticize and point out the faults of others, without hesitating to offend on any issue. Sometimes, they justify their cruelty by claiming that they are simply "honest". Mature people, on the other hand, choose their words carefully and don't hurt people's feelings in an attempt to be "honest", so remember to be careful about how you express yourself and don't say things that might offend others' sensibilities. Treat people the way you would like to be treated.

Step 8. Learn to sincerely apologize when you make a mistake

Regardless of how conscientious you are, when you speak it will happen that you make mistakes or inadvertently hurt people. We all do stupid things from time to time, because no one in the world is perfect. Learn to put aside your pride and say "I'm sorry". When you make a mistake, a real, sincere apology will prove that you are truly mature.

Step 9. Tell the truth, but be gentle

It is a very difficult skill to manage, but by imagining what you would like to hear, you will be able to understand how to express yourself. In Buddhism there is a saying: "If you are going to speak, always ask yourself: is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?". Consider this before opening your mouth. Those in front of you will appreciate your honesty, while your gentleness will show that you truly care about the well-being of others.

For example, if a friend asks you if her dress makes her look fat, consider what would be more useful. Beauty is very subjective, so it is probably not appropriate to offer an opinion on its appearance. However, by telling her that you love her and that the dress looks just as good as it should, you will give her the confidence boost she needs.
If you really think his clothing isn't attractive, there are several ways to tell him gently, as long as you think it's appropriate. For example, if you say, "You know, I prefer the red dress to this one," you're not making a judgment about her physique - no one needs it - but answer her question if it fits her.
Behavioral scientists suggest that some types of insincerity are actually "prosocial," little lies to help others avoid embarrassment or bad moods. It is up to you to decide whether you behave this way. Whatever you choose to say, try to be nice.

Part 4 of 4: Be courteous

Step 1. Use good manners when interacting with people

Squeeze your hand firmly and look straight in the eye. If your culture has a different way of greeting others, use it appropriately and politely. When you meet, make an effort to remember the person's name by repeating it: "Nice to meet you, Paolo". Good manners convey respect for others - and this is the typical behavior of mature people.

During any conversation, listen carefully and maintain eye contact. Don't stare at your interlocutor, though. Use the 50/70 rule: look in the eye 50% of the time when you are talking and 70% of the time while the other person is talking.
Avoid fidgeting or fiddling with any object. Restlessness indicates lack of confidence. Keep your hands open and relaxed.
Don't get distracted thinking you'd rather stay somewhere else. Most people know when you have no interest in interacting and you risk hurting their feelings.
Don't talk on your cell phone or text when you should be paying attention to the person in front of you, otherwise you will disrespect them.
When dealing with a new situation or context, be silent for a while and notice how other people are acting. It is not your job to tell others what they should or shouldn't do. Rather, observe and be respectful.

Step 2. Observe good manners when online

If you are also polite on the internet, you will show that you respect friends, family and anyone who interacts with you using the internet. It is a sign of maturity. Keep in mind that much of what you communicate online can also be seen by other people, including potential employers, teachers, and more, so don't say things that might embarrass you or create problems for you.

Avoid strong, offensive language. Don't overdo the use of exclamation marks. Remember that you can't clarify your position as if you were speaking in person, so make sure you don't overwhelm those who read what you write.
Use the shift key. Use capital letters to write the initials of proper names and to begin a sentence instead of typing everything in lowercase. AVOID USING THE MASTERS, otherwise it will be much more difficult to read what you write.
Avoid the constant use of CAPITAL LETTERS. On the Internet it is equivalent to shouting. It may be okay if you tweet about your soccer team winning the championship, but it's not a good idea in daily emails and comments posted on social networks.
When sending an email, use a header (for example, "Dear" in "Dear John"). Starting email without this is rude, especially if it's someone you don't know well or a teacher. It also uses a closing formula, such as "Thank you" or "Best regards".
Review the text of an email before sending it or a post on a social network to make sure you haven't made any mistakes. Use sentences that make sense and try to apply punctuation correctly at the end of each sentence.
Don't use too many abbreviations, slang and emoticons. It's okay to use them in a text message addressed to a friend, but don't use them in an email to your teacher or in another context where you want to show mature.
Remember the golden rule online as well as in real life: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

If you want someone to be nice to you, be nice to them too. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't open your mouth.

Step 3. Make yourself useful

Keep the door open, help gather things, and offer assistance to anyone who needs it. Consider making yourself useful for your community, such as mentoring a young student or working in an animal shelter. When you make others happy, you will be much more likely to feel happy. Giving your contribution to others rather than to yourself is mature person behavior.

This way you will also have the opportunity to boost your self-esteem. Studies have shown that when we help others, we achieve a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we have accomplished.
Making yourself useful isn't always mutual. There may be times when we help others without receiving a "thank you" or help in return. It depends on them. Remember to be considerate of yourself, not to get something.

Step 4. Avoid always putting yourself in the center of attention

If you always take control of the conversation and talk about yourself all the time instead of giving other people a chance to talk, you will be disrespectful and immature. Instead, by showing a real interest in the passions and experiences of others, you will give the impression of being more mature and less self-centered. Based on what you listen to, you may also learn something new or develop a certain esteem for someone.

Step 5. Accept compliments and criticisms with maturity

If someone gives you a compliment, just say "thank you" and leave it as it is. If someone criticizes you, be polite by replying: "Okay, I'll definitely think about it." Your criticism may not be valid, but by handling it in a polite way, you will show all your maturity at the moment.

Try not to take criticism personally. Sometimes people try to help without, however, communicating properly. In such cases, ask for clarification: "I heard you don't like my essay. Could you please tell me in detail how I could do better next time?"
Sometimes a criticism speaks more of the author than of the target. If it seems unfair or offensive, remember that the other person is probably just trying to emphasize themselves at your expense. Don't let her get the better of it.
Accepting criticism elegantly doesn't mean you can't defend yourself. If someone hurts your feelings, tell them in a calm and gentle way, "I'm sure you didn't mean that, but when you criticized my clothing you really hurt me. Next time, could you avoid making comments about my appearance?"

Advice

Be kind, understanding and friend to everyone! Don't be kind just once, but always.
It is difficult to acquire maturity. However, don't change who you are to become more mature. Instead, make an effort to express your personality in the best way. It is not a question of proving who is older or younger. If you want to be taken seriously by the people around you, think and act according to how you would like to be heard. Just make sure you are consistent with yourself every time you take a step and stand up for your choices. If something goes wrong, do your best to stay calm and think about the next move, without blaming others. You have taken an action and assume your responsibilities. Try to be mature and responsible.
When faced with a conflict, avoid arguing and try to resolve the issue calmly and rationally. If the fight escalates, get it over with as soon as possible.
Treat others as you would like to be treated. This is basically the definition of maturity.
Write down the goals you intend to achieve in order to become mature and how you plan to achieve them. For example, you might decide to start being a quiet person who avoids talking about themselves all the time. Work on this for a week and check your progress. Even if you aren't perfect right away, keep trying.
Show elegance. Even if someone doesn't deserve a second chance, give them one. You will be a better person and you will be more mature.
Learn to choose the right look based on the context. An orange crest can express your originality, but if you are in a traditional job, your appearance may lead you to believe that you are an immature person, even if it is not true.
Try to focus on other people's problems as well. You will give the impression of being more mature.
Punctuality is a virtue!