Do you care about someone and want to make sure they are not married? Have you lost your mind over someone who is perhaps already engaged? Of course, the easiest way to find out is to ask the person, but there are a number of ways to use your investigative skills and find out someone's marital status.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Clues to Analyze Now
Step 1. See if your tan has left marks in the area of the wedding band
Examine the left ring finger to see any tan-related discolorations or indentations. If you look at them, this person may have recently taken off the ring. Some married individuals use this trick to appear single, so that they can make hookups when they are away from home. However, the mark left by faith could also mean that this person has recently gone through a divorce or separation.
Step 2. Look for certain signs to tell if this person is single
Take a look at the car he drives. Is it a station wagon, a minivan or an SUV? This could mean that he has a family. Also think about other behaviors that might reveal to you whether she is single or not.
For example, most single men cook for themselves or often eat out. If you are a woman and have a crush on a man, ask him what he cooked for dinner and if he can give you suggestions for the recipe. Alternatively, ask them what the best places to eat are
Step 3. Listen carefully to his words
You can get clues about a person's marital status by analyzing what they say. How many details about your private life does it reveal? Do you often talk about a person who appears to be your partner? Examining the details that emerge from his leisure time stories is crucial. Single people lead very different lives than those who are married or with families. Ask her what she did over the weekend. Did she go out with friends, go to a bar, attend a concert or go shopping downtown? Alternatively, did she stay at home, have dinner with married friends, or go to the zoo? Details about the activities he does in his spare time can provide important clues.
When he tells you about his free time, who does he share it with? Do you always name your parents, brothers, sisters or cousins? Do you spend every weekend with a group of friends? This could indicate that she is single
Step 4. Pay attention to his social habits
Single people have the luxury of being able to go out whenever they want, have a drink after work or have dinner with friends on weekends. Married people and people with dependent families do not have the same kind of independence. Occasionally they see their friends, but, in most cases, they go home to their families or go out with their husband or wife.
Step 5. Check social networks
These sites offer a great way to determine someone's marital status. Look at this person's Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram profile. Some sites, such as Facebook, indicate marital status, and most of these pages allow you to post photos. Look for shots that show her with someone she obviously has (or has had) a romantic relationship with. When did these images date back? Sometimes people leave old photos of their exes on their profile, but if they're recent, maybe the relationship is still alive and well.
- Is this person's profile remarkably bare? Do you have a profile picture? Can you find any shots with a potential spouse, buried among all the images she's posted? Do you have an account on at least one social network? Sparse social networks - or a lack thereof - could be a wake-up call not to be overlooked.
- Do an online search for this person. If you have no virtual connection with her, see if she has any social media accounts. Examine if his name appears in the results list of a search engine; for example, you can be redirected to their workplace website.
Part 2 of 3: Keeping Your Habits During a Date
Step 1. During an appointment, see if he always pays in cash
If the person you have a crush on seems to prefer to pay cash for everything, maybe that means they don't want to leave any traces of your encounters on their credit card statements. Nowadays, many pay for what they buy, including meals, by credit card. If you only use coins and bills every time you go out together, this could be a wake-up call.
There are people who carry cash with them to pay for cheaper transactions, such as movie tickets and fast food meals. There are wealthy individuals who maybe pull 100 euro bills out of their wallet. However, it should also be noted that many people usually use a combination of credit card and cash
Step 2. See if this person seems to be forced to go home around 10pm
Another alarm bell not to be overlooked? The availability of this person. In fact, you have realized that you cannot see it often, especially in the evening. An individual who takes a romantic relationship seriously or who would like a lasting relationship to blossom is more than willing to extend appointments without any particular time limits. Occasionally, it is normal that he has to go home quite early, for example on working days. However, on the weekend, he should have some flexibility with regards to appointment times.
Can you only meet between 6 and 9:45 pm? If so, this person may have to go home to their family at a reasonable time for their spouse. Of course, it's not a problem if this happens once in a while, but if he always has to come home at the same time with the excuse that he has an important meeting the next morning or a flight at dawn, then open your eyes wide
Step 3. Consider if you have ever visited this person's home
Have you ever seen where he lives? If you've been dating for a few months and have never set foot in her home, this could be a cause for concern. You hear constant and inconsistent apologies: in his house there is total chaos and he is ashamed of it, or he tells you that he loves being with you. If you always go to your house and don't have a clue where she lives, then you should worry.
Think of an excuse to go to his house. If this person constantly refuses to let you see where they live, they may be married
Step 4. See if his cell phone habits are unusual
People who cheat are extremely stealthy with the phone. Try to figure out if his attitude makes sense or if it should be a source of suspicion.
- While you are together, does he get so many calls that he never answers? Does he behave nervously or deliberately prevent you from seeing the screen? Do you receive persistent calls? A reticent and evasive attitude like this is a wake-up call. But make sure you don't confuse it with good manners. Some people don't want to answer their cell phones during a date so as not to be rude. Nonetheless, if you've been dating for a long time, there should be some confidence between you. Eventually, he should answer phone calls, especially if he receives them all the time.
- Do you have two cell phones? There are people who use two phones for work. However, it is a widespread habit even among people who cheat, indeed, in this case the cell phones can be various. Does he refuse to give you a certain number? Does he move away from you to answer certain numbers so that you cannot hear? These could be red flags.
- Does he only call you when he's at the supermarket, in the car, at work or at the park? Have you ever talked while he was at home? If he calls you while he's out, this could mean he's sneaking in contact with you.
- Every time you call this person, you are invited to leave a message on the answering machine. Then, he calls you much later or the next day, at work. If you call her at random times and she answers, see if she talks normally, seem to pretend it's a business call, or lower her voice a lot more than usual. The inexplicable behaviors in these situations could indicate an absolute lack of honesty.
- He doesn't give you his home number. Today, many only have cell phones, but if this person refuses to give you their home number and shows other troubling signs, don't take them lightly.
Step 5. Try to remember if you have ever met important people in his life
You've been dating for a few months now, only he never introduced you to friends or family. This too can be a wake-up call. Does he tell you about his friendships and relatives? Do you know who he spends the moments with when he's not with you? Some are hesitant to introduce the person they are dating to friends and family. Anyway, if the relationship is getting serious, you have introduced your friends to her but you don't know anyone, there are two possibilities: this person does not give particular importance to your relationship or is married.
Step 6. See if he behaves in an unusual way when you have to organize schedules
For example, you never go out on the weekend, this person rejects all spontaneous dates you suggest, you never go away for a romantic weekend, and when that happens, they always combine it with a business trip. This unusual way of planning their time together can indicate that they have a double life that they cannot escape.
Part 3 of 3: Investigating This Person
Step 1. Ask him directly
If you are unsure of his marital status, take heart and ask. It can be the simplest and most effective way to know what you want right away. There are several ways to do this:
- Take the bull by the horns and ask: "Are you married?". Control yourself to avoid taking on a tone that suggests prejudices or accusations. You simply have to ask it out of curiosity.
- Ask: "Are you sure you have told me everything about your life?". Examine his answer carefully.
- Examine his reaction. Is he clearly lying? Does he look away, move nervously, sweat, or get overly defensive?
- If she keeps insisting that she is not married, then you have to ask yourself why you think she is lying. In general, do you find it hard to trust people? Or is this person behaving in a really shady way? If you still think something is wrong, then it would be best to end the relationship as soon as possible. If, on the other hand, she confesses that she is married, don't waste time with her anymore. You can get angry and ask her a few questions, but then she runs away at lightning speed - it's not worth it.
Step 2. Go to the town hall to get yourself a marriage certificate
Go to the municipality of the city where you think she may have got married. Public records can be useful in finding out if a person is currently engaged or has been in the past. This information is in the public domain: it is usually possible to consult it at a low cost. In some cases, you can even find out if she has been on the verge of getting married.
- To research marriage records, you need this person's real name. If it is quite common, for example it is called Maria Bianchi, you must have additional information, such as the middle name or date of birth.
- Obviously, in order for the research to go through, you must contact the right registry, otherwise you will make a hole in the water.
- In Italy marriage records are public, but if you do your research in another country, the laws are different. Some jurisdictions have taken steps to keep this information private. Each country or state has established different rules on the procedure for obtaining this data, so be well informed before doing a search.
- When doing this research, also check divorce records. It's not enough to find a marriage certificate, you also need to make sure it's still valid.
- Some municipalities make public documents available online. It is possible to consult them without spending too much, but in some places it is not a very widespread practice. They can come in handy if you could not go personally to do the research in the municipality of competence.
Step 3. Rummage through this person's items
If you decide to snoop, you risk jeopardizing the relationship. However, if you really think this is the best way to find out the truth, go ahead. Here are some ways to rummage through his stuff and get the answers you need:
- Examine this person's portfolio. Do you have a joint credit card with someone? Alternatively, do you notice another shared card, of whatever type it is? He may have it in common with his spouse.
- Check this person's cell phone. Are there any photos with a possible partner or children? If you've ever been in his office, have you noticed any personal photographs?
- Take a look at the mail he receives. Does another person live in your house? Does he have the same surname? Maybe he lives with his brother or a parent, but that could be a good reason to start a thorough investigation.
- Check the driveway of his house for two cars. Again, the car could belong to a relative or to this same person, so it is not very reliable information. However, it could be a clue. Are there any signs of children in the house?
Step 4. Look up his phone number
It's easy. Consult the White Pages - also on the internet - to find this person on the list. Search for his number on a search engine. Do you see the name of a person who lives in the same house, who has the same surname as you, is of the opposite sex and clearly has no blood ties? If so, then this could mean she is married.
This information may be out of date. Maybe this person went through a separation or divorce after making the list
Step 5. Be wary of sites that promise to disclose such information
There are web pages that claim to be able to reveal a person's marital status. They will ask you to enter their name, city and credit card information. Behave cautiously. They are hardly legitimate.
Step 6. Hire a detective.
If you are truly desperate, you may want to hire a private investigator to do the job for you. Remember that it's expensive, so if you're just looking for a simple "Yes, this person is married" or "No, he's not", that's not a good idea. On the other hand, if there are a lot of red flags and you no longer know how to behave, the money invested for a detective will probably be well spent. Before taking this path, ask for suggestions for choosing a professional.
A private investigator may be helpful when you have concerns about possible bigamy or a divorce that has not yet been finalized
Advice
What do your friends think? It may be helpful to ask for their impressions of this person's marital status. Of course, their answer will not be definitive, but the opinions of others can be illuminating
Warnings
- Watch out. If a person is married and has lied to you constantly, they will get defensive. It's a natural response to try to save yourself and cover up the lies. If she reacts like this and accuses you of obviously not trusting her, maybe she's hiding something from you. Innocent people generally don't protest vehemently about trust issues.
- If this person got married in another country, you need to know where they lived before (and when), and then search the public records of this place according to the requirements of the jurisdiction. If you are not familiar with the language, you will need the help of a translator.
- Asking someone if they're married doesn't always guarantee a truthful answer. If you are concerned that this person lied to you about their marital status, it may be helpful to take note of various signs to try to get a concrete idea.
