When you are a teenager, your social life seems to be particularly busy, and from one year to the next it is possible to make new friends and break old ones, because everyone changes. These changes can cause two friends to drift apart, as compatibility may fade. Many people gradually adapt to the lifestyle of high school students, but they may feel a little lonely if they can't be part of a social circle from the first weeks of school. If you want to make good friends, just follow these steps!
Steps
Step 1. Try to analyze the situation using common sense
While you must try to make the most of in high school, this stage in your life will not last forever and it will not define you for the rest of your life. A lot of successful people don't have a best friend, and you don't need one to be the smartest or the most interesting. Practicing positive thinking may be a bit mundane, but treating everyone in a friendly way will lay a good foundation for actually making friends.
Step 2. Lower expectations
You may not be able to become someone's best friend because you expect too much of others or because you think that every single social interaction has to be perfect. In fact, many best friends started dating, talking about this and that in an embarrassed way, maybe they didn't even like each other in the early days. So whenever you chat with someone, keep an open mind and relax. When a friendship is born, rejoice, do not stand there to imagine a perfection that does not exist.
Step 3. Try to hang out with people who make you feel good, and you should have the same effect on them
You must always have a positive attitude to cultivate satisfying relationships, whether they are with your family, friends or strangers. If you don't like the people you hang out with, you can still have friendships, but they won't make you feel good or degenerate quickly, so keep that in mind!
Step 4. Identify what you think you are missing or missing because you don't have a best friend
Try to understand what triggers are that make you feel lonely and gather ideas on how you could fill this void in alternative and positive ways. For example, if you hate being alone on a Saturday night, engage in an activity regularly at this time of the week so you will get rid of this feeling and experience new experiences.
Step 5. Don't get discouraged by comparing yourself negatively to others
No one is perfect, everyone has problems, only some people are better at hiding it than others. That popular girl could have a much more difficult life than yours.
Step 6. Feel grateful for what you have and peacefully live the time you can dedicate to yourself, it is precious
You are in good health, you have a personality, a family, some talents, not everyone is as lucky as you are, so don't despise what you have.
Step 7. Test yourself with new experiences that you always wanted to do; maybe you would like to join a theater group, form a band, learn to ride or take an afternoon Japanese course
Step 8. Be your best friend
Focus on all your positive characteristics. Defend yourself. Don't be too self-critical because you don't have a best friend. Think about what others like about you. Write your best traits and reread the list when you need them. It may sound vain, but it's important to be your best friend. Sometimes people who have a lot of "best friends" are actually not very happy and don't feel good in their own skin.
Step 9. Focus on the similarities you have to the people around you
Don't judge others based on what you see on a superficial level and thinking they won't be able to understand you. You can always make friends that you never expected.
Step 10. Cultivate interests outside of school
Try new experiences to find out what you really like. Take advantage of this stage of your life to understand what your passions are. This could be literature, animals, photography, 1980s movies, making videos for YouTube, or writing a blog. Also, in your city you can find people who share your enthusiasm.
Step 11. The neighbour's grass is always greener, and this applies to everyone
Not having a best friend in high school could sometimes make you feel sad or lonely, you have to acknowledge that. It is not a problem, however, remember that many times these relationships do not work, in fact many friendships end and leave with a bad taste in the mouth. Having time all to yourself will allow you to improve yourself, study harder to get better grades in school instead of hanging on to the phone for an hour and talking frivolous topics with your friend. We all need personal spaces.
Step 12. Take advantage of your free time to get close to older family members and other relatives
They are older and wiser than you, and they will surely be worth getting to know them. This passage mainly refers to grandparents. Try spending more time with them, because they have more experience.
Step 13. Your teachers can be your mentors
Professors are often happy to have students to lead, so take advantage of what they have to offer. Acting in a friendly manner towards them also allows you to receive positive attention in class, unless they are strict teachers and who do not demonstrate a preference.
Step 14. Be nice to your classmates, friends, acquaintances and people you might help, such as a foreign student who is doing a cultural exchange
Having a lot of positive connections can actually do you good.
Step 15. Talk about your problems with someone
Venting out is therapeutic. Talk to a trusted person, such as an older brother or sister, a relative, a priest or a psychotherapist, perhaps you can speak to the psychologist who offers counseling at your school.
Step 16. Hang out with people who are younger or older than you, or who maybe go to another school
Try to make a good impression on everyone they introduce to you.
Step 17. Focus on your academic performance so you can go to college and find a paying job
Performing well in high school can pay off in the long run, so you should work hard and do your best for your adult life.
Step 18. Be open and patient
Don't define yourself as "someone who doesn't have a best friend". Keep an open mind, as you may be friends with someone, but don't forget that closer relationships build little by little. You won't have a best friend right now, but sooner or later you may find someone you really get along with, so don't close in on yourself - you'll have a better chance of welcoming special people into your life.
Advice
- Don't be afraid to change.
- Even though you don't have a best friend, don't lose your optimism. Succumbing to bitterness will only make your life worse.
- If you want to stay open to the possibility of making new friends, ask a person you trust if they think there are ways that could allow you to get closer to others. Sometimes we are so desperate (or too impatient) to find a best friend that we don't pay attention to what really matters.
- Signing up for an afternoon class is one of the easiest ways to make new friends and broaden your social circle.
- To avoid getting depressed, watch comedy videos and movies and try to laugh every day.
- Be nice to everyone. Sometimes having a dozen good friends is better than not having a best friend, and it's even less selfish.
- There are many disorders or disabilities, such as depression, bipolar disorder, mental handicaps, schizophrenia, or autism, that could prevent you from having a best friend in high school. In particular, several students with autism or schizophrenia have problems because they have a slightly different world view from that of others. If you think you have such a disorder, consult a doctor, psychologist, or other counselor to find out more.
Warnings
- Don't assume that changing your look or wearing designer clothes will automatically attract new friends. In most cases, people desperate for attention don't get what they want. As much as they begin to accept you, this means that they will only like your appearance, not your personality, which is wrong. They may not be good friends. Sure, taking care of yourself will help, but it's more helpful to express your interests and hobbies when talking to others.
- Don't assume you're a bad person just because you don't have any friends. There are a lot of nice and famous people who are considered lonely. Remember that you must first get along with yourself. Also, you may not have met compatible people so far.
- Remember that the definition of "best friend" is sometimes not understood. Just think of the people who call themselves someone's best friends after just a few months of dating. Reliable and constant friendships are more important than ephemeral ones, which allow you to have someone to confide in for three months, without a real connection.
- Don't get mad because you don't have a best friend. If this happens to you, find a healthy outlet for your anger.
