Despite your great efforts to be strong, it broke your heart again. After a night of soaking your pillow with your tears and pitying yourself, you've decided that too much is really too much. You have to completely take him out of your life, but he doesn't take no for an answer. Here are some drastic steps to show him that no is the only answer you have for him.
Steps
Step 1. Don't accept excuses
One of the most important steps in having a hard heart is to remain firm in your decision. There is no room for uncertainty. To become and remain a heart of stone you have to live with a slightly cynical perspective. Don't believe his apology. Consider any attempt at reconciliation as the risk of becoming the slave of a nightmare you just got out of. If possible, reject his calls, do not reply to emails, messages on Facebook, etc. If you give him a chance to explain, your resolve will be weakened. You will give him the opportunity to regain your trust that will be betrayed again: you will enter a vicious circle.
Step 2. Don't look back on old times together
If you want to have a hard heart, one of the worst things you could do is remember the old days. By doing so you risk suffering again. You will think about laughter together; to warm hugs; to tender kisses and you will be tempted to put aside your wounded pride. You would be wrong to behave like this. Remember, the person who hurt you wants to use your feelings to their advantage. If you can, delete his messages, emails etc. Get rid of anything that remembers him (photos, T-shirts, gifts, etc.). Remember that if things had gone well, to begin with, you would not have read this article.
Step 3. Don't forget the reasons that prompted you to end the relationship
When you feel fragile you will see that anger is a great motivator. When times are tough and you feel tempted to answer her calls, get angry. Enraged. Stop thinking about all the times you've felt betrayed by him; whenever you needed it, it wasn't there. (It's important to get angry now you'll feel like you've lifted a burden and won't transfer that anger to the next guy.)
Step 4. Free yourself from the memories that have tied you to him
Don't wear his T-shirts or gifts he gave you. If you can, avoid talking to him. To have a heart of stone, you need to appear completely indifferent to him. If he asks why you don't reply to his messages, tell him that you are too busy. If he woos you, dismiss him. Be ruthless, dry and distant. Be different from the woman he knew. Doing so will make him feel insecure. The more insecure he feels, the less he will bother you and eventually walk away.
Step 5. Buy a calendar
It is important to keep your mind busy during this transition period especially if you were sharing everything as a couple. Find a hobby. If you are used to being with someone, take a break. Discover yourself. Aim to be a good friend, a good sister, etc. Make yourself unavailable for him. In today's world, being single is considered bad, it means not being wanted. Sure, sometimes it feels lonely, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Being single will give you the opportunity to get to know yourself and regain your self-confidence.
Advice
- Spend your time developing your personal growth.
- If you feel fragile, remember that you had no other choice.
- It might sound childish, but if he is really bad for you and you really need to take him out of your life because it would make your life so much worse and not so much better: every time he calls or emails you and you manage not to answer, he thinks you have won. "I won!"
- Listen to music that encourages your choices.
- Think about the positive things you have done for yourself and the relationship.
Warnings
- If you've decided to be indifferent to someone, it's because you don't want them to be a part of your life anymore. Don't be insensitive to someone you think might be a part of your future. Your partner will find it difficult to forgive and forget this cruelty.
- Prepare to be criticized. Many people believe that numbness is a bad trait. People will see your behavior as cruel (indeed it is) and if they don't know your true intentions, someone will be undecided whether to remain your friend.
- Don't behave too often or you'll get a taste for it and will do it unknowingly, even for trivial matters.
- If you are a child, doing this can be mistaken for bullying when other people (including your parents) notice.
