Love disappointments can be devastating and even impair sleep, appetite, and self-esteem. In the beginning, working through the pain is the best way to put it behind you. Take your time to suffer, without judging yourself. Then try your hand at constructive activities that help you make sense of what happened and move on with your life.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Accepting Your Feelings
Step 1. Don't judge yourself for what you are feeling
It is normal to blame yourself when you suffer for love. However, forget about these kinds of judgments. Give yourself the opportunity to feel sad, angry, rejected, disappointed, or confused.
- If you are tempted to judge yourself, replace negative thoughts with more positive ones. Think, "You are a person. It is normal for you to feel this way."
- To get rid of what you are feeling, you have to let it out without making judgments.
Step 2. Release your feelings in any way you deem necessary
You won't be able to move on to a healthier, happier future if you don't deal with the pain. Don't try to put it off or deny it exists. Let it overwhelm you in whatever way you think is right - crying, sleeping, screaming, or confiding in friends are great escape valves.
Step 3. Practice mindful meditation
Full awareness techniques teach you to process feelings. Try sitting quietly and focus on your breath. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. When a thought or an upset crosses your mind, try to define and accept it.
- For example, if you fear that you will never meet love again, think, "I'm worried about the future."
- Don't overly analyze emotions. Just inhale, exhale and let them go.
- It is best to practice mindfulness meditation while you are engaged in physical activity, as it helps the body get rid of stress hormones. For example, try walking or yoga while you meditate mindfully.
Step 4. Take care of yourself before anything else
Coping with a disappointment of love can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting, so make a commitment to nourish your mind, body, and soul. Eat right, train, keep a journal and get plenty of rest.
- Also try watching one of your favorite movies, spending a day at a spa or cuddling your four-legged friend on the living room sofa.
- If you feel the urge to manage your emotions in the wrong way (for example by consoling yourself with sex or drugs), resist this temptation by taking even more care of yourself.
Part 2 of 3: Working through the Pain
Step 1. Confide in the people you respect
If you isolate yourself or distance yourself from people it will be even more difficult to pass this test of life. Talk about what's happening to you and accept all the support, encouragement, and advice you receive.
You can say to a friend, "I'm having a hard time accepting my separation. Can we talk about it?"
Step 2. Consult a mental health professional
If you can't get over it or have anxiety and depression issues, a therapist can help. It will help you work out what you are feeling and put in place a sound strategy for dealing with reality.
Ask your doctor, family and friends if they can recommend a therapist to go to
Step 3. Perform a forgiveness ritual
Write a detailed letter about everything that happened or speak to an empty chair and imagine the person who hurt you is sitting across from you. You could also repeat indulgent phrases, such as, "I have chosen to get rid of pain and resentment. I forgive you so that I can make more room for my happiness."
Probably the last thing you would think of doing is to forgive the person who broke your heart, but this gesture has value for you, not for them, because it will allow you to let go of the pain so that you can open your heart. to other possibilities in the future
Step 4. Focus on the lesson you have learned
By dwelling on the breakup and remembering everything that went wrong you will not go anywhere. Instead of ruminating, try to stay focused on the future. Ask yourself how you can use what you have learned to improve.
- For example, if you continue to feel guilty because you slept with a person who subsequently hurt you, you may decide to postpone sexual intercourse in future relationships, at least until you are sure that the will is on the other side as well. to build something serious.
- Also try to reflect on how much you have grown in this relationship. Ask yourself, "What have I learned? To what extent am I more mature?"
Step 5. Keep a gratitude journal
At the end of the day, write down some details that you feel grateful or happy for. It's a healthy habit that helps you focus your mind on the positive things in life.
For example, you could write, "I am grateful to my friends for allowing me to distract myself from my romantic breakup. I am equally grateful to have a job that keeps me busy and a dog that is a faithful companion."
Part 3 of 3: Stop Thinking About Love Disappointment
Step 1. Distance yourself from the source of your pain
Moving forward will be tough if you stay in touch with the person who broke your heart. Block her number on her mobile, delete her from social networks and try to avoid the places she frequents.
If she has hurt you, you may be tempted to beg her to get back with you or follow her online to see who she's dating. These behaviors keep you stuck: get rid of her so you can move on by moving away from her both physically and mentally
Step 2. Seek the company of friends and family
A romantic breakup could leave a lot of room for social life, so use your free time to reconnect with the people you love. Plan to shop, eat and have fun with your best friends. Have dinner with your family and call a relative you haven't heard from in a long time.
A healthy social life keeps you busy and improves your self-esteem because it reminds you how many people really love you
Step 3. Have a rewarding hobby
Spend your free time on something that has nothing to do with your ex. If you used to play intramural sports or volunteer at an animal shelter, start over. To diversify your interests, try painting, writing or playing a musical instrument.
- Having a hobby of your own will allow you to meet people you have things in common with. It will also help you build new memories without your ex.
- It is also a great time to learn something new! Try an activity that has always piqued your interest.
Step 4. Roll up your sleeves to reach an important goal
Try to build an exciting life by focusing on what you need to improve. Maybe you've always wanted to travel far and wide, finish college, or lose a few pounds. Whatever your goal, imagine what steps you need to take and get to work.
Increase your chances of success by setting SMART goals, which are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and defined over time
Step 5. Train to lift your spirits
Support physical and mental health by finding time for physical activity. Try to move at least 30 minutes most days of the week. The most interesting exercises are running, hiking, skating, swimming or kickboxing.
- Choose one or two physical activities that you enjoy and practice them regularly.
- Played on a regular basis, sport can greatly improve mood and help fight anxiety and depression.
