When you are a teenager, there is no way to be normal. It depends on your interests, what you like and what you don't like. All teens experience a range of different emotions and experiences, including joining or avoiding groups, feeling alienated - or including - bored, having fun, dealing with physical changes. You may experience an intense desire to find a place in some group, to be accepted by peers, of the same age, level and interests. Even those who call themselves weird, who celebrate their individuality, have like-minded friends. It is normal to feel abnormal. We all want to integrate somewhere, and that doesn't mean you have to become a brainless drone with a relentless urge to conform. Embrace your inner quirks and become the truest version of yourself. It is just normal.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Behaving Normal
Step 1. Spend time with people doing "positive activities" you want to do
It is becoming easier and easier to spend too much time alone. While a little loneliness can be good, loners also have to go to work, play, or eat sometime. In order to act normally and behave in a balanced way, it is important to spend time around people, socialize and learn from them, so that you can interact directly and get involved more easily. Being around a variety of people in a bar, restaurant, or movie theater can help you get to know others and make you feel less isolated. This will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin, and you will become more able to open up and interact.
- Find places and go where you are very likely to run into like-minded people. Do you love comics? Stop buying them online and go to your local comic shop. Do you love art? Go to an art class, craft store, or museum. Take a class in one of your interests and talk to other people who are learning the same subject or skill. Join a choir or take music lessons. Some churches have a school for music and sports.
- Online friends exist in a gray area. They are "real" most of the time, but our online interactions are very different from our interactions in the world. Try to balance the time you socialize online with at least as much, if not more, time for face-to-face interactions.
Step 2. Be happier by not associating with people who act in a negative, uncontrolled or bizarre way
They could put themselves and you in trouble, for example. Avoid hanging out with people who are unpleasant, mean, destructive, or too angry.
- You could help other people do (or fix) something if they want your opinion or assistance.
- Don't go looking for trouble; let them come to you (and try to stay out of it).
Step 3. Pay attention to the body language of others
When around people, pay attention to the signals they send you about how to behave, to get some insight into what might be "normal" in that situation.
- Reflect the behavior of others, if it suits you. When you're in the library and everyone seems very studious, quiet, and absorbed in their work, it's probably not the best time to start talking and trying to tell jokes. If everyone is dancing at the high school prom, it might be normal to dance, but you don't have to. It is normal to feel both ways.
- If your neighbor is constantly trying to make eye contact and smile at you during lunch, it's probably a good time for a conversation if you're feeling open. Try to be friendly. People who are willing to converse often use an open posture - shoulders back, head held high, not too relaxed. To relax without being open you might act as if you are tired, sleepy, angry, shy or grumpy. Crossed arms and legs can be a sign that they are satisfied with sitting alone, and are not trying to be friendly. Learn to recognize the signs and not act that way in your interactions.
- If people are uncommunicative or closed - head down, arms crossed - they probably don't want to talk. If you push on the problem, you could make them feel uncomfortable. Learn to recognize the signs and disengage from the conversation or interaction. Give them some space.
Step 4. Be a good listener and wait your turn to speak
When talking to someone, or a group of people, try to listen and speak equally. You don't have to be the contributor if you want to be noticed - it's just as important to be an active listener. Look at the person who is speaking, nod your head to show that you are listening, and really listen to what is being said.
- Stay on topic. If everyone in a group is telling stories about their weekend, tell a story about your weekend if you have one. It would be a little strange to say, "My dad loves pickled herring. He always eats them." Don't divert the conversation and take it elsewhere.
- Listening does not mean thinking about the next thing you will say in a silent moment of the conversation. Listening means actively listening to what someone else is saying, not trying to think about what you will say next.
Step 5. Establish your personal boundaries
Teens want to be seen as individuals, mature, and more experienced than their peers. Because of this, it can often be tempting to push yourself into things that you may not be ready for, or even interested in. Smoking, drinking, experimenting with sex - these are things that many normal teens will confront, and there is no "right" way to approach them, other than knowing that it is your decision and responsibility to understand the consequences. It's your life. Make your choices and draw your borders.
- Wanting to adapt is normal, and it is true that engaging in risky behavior seems like a way to adapt and be respected by people. But compromising your personality and beliefs means that you are not yourself. It is not you that they are not respecting, or even noticing.
- Another good limit to keep in mind is discretion. It's okay to keep a few things to yourself. It's almost too easy to post every success and failure, every frustration and joy on Facebook as a status update. Is it really necessary for everyone to know?
Step 6. Make your room a fantastic sanctuary
Perhaps there is nothing more important to you as a teenager than having your own space. Make it as unique as you are, with posters or candles, records or drawings. Fill it with yourself. Paint it any color you want and fill it with the things you like to look at. Take some time to think about what would make the room unique and get permission to make it that way.
If you don't have your own room, find a comfortable place to spend time. Take a walk in the woods and find a large log to sit on, or find a table by a window you love in the library, or spend time in a friend's basement. Try to find a quiet, available place where you can find peace
Part 2 of 3: Dress Normally
Step 1. Wear clean clothes that fit you well
There is no normal type of clothing to wear. Styles change all the time and it can be very difficult to keep up. The important thing, however, is that the clothes are clean and that they fit well. Wear whatever is comfortable and convenient for you, but make sure the clothes fit you as much as possible.
- Tight jeans and cropped tops may work, but just because they're popular or "normal" doesn't mean they necessarily fit your body. Wear clothes that flatter your figure and are comfortable, not something that makes you feel unsafe or exposed.
- Don't be afraid to have your own style. If you think old basketball jerseys and gym shorts look good, you are in good company. If you think rugby shirts and khakis are okay, you are in safe waters. As long as the things you wear are clean and fit well, you are in great shape.
Step 2. Learn about current fashion
It's a good idea to pay attention to what other guys are wearing, not because you have to conform and wear the same thing, but so that you have at least some idea about common attire. Then, if you choose to go in another direction, at least you will be aware of what you are doing, and you won't wear grandpa's plaid pants and golf shoes to school because you think it's normal.
- There is no need to go to expensive stores to dress normally. Stores like Target, Wal-Mart, and malls usually have items for sale that are affordable and current. At thrift stores, try to find the newest and cleanest clothes available in your size.
- In middle school in particular it may seem that all that matters is owning the next trendy "must have" dress, usually very expensive, but one that will be forgotten in six months anyway. Nobody wears JNCO jeans anymore.
Step 3. Look after your appearance
If you want to look normal, you don't have to do anything special with the look, but a little effort is required. Keep yourself clean and tidy, and your confidence will be enhanced knowing that you are at your best.
- Brush your teeth and floss. Your smile will be your friend and ready to be immortalized with proper oral hygiene. Having healthy teeth can significantly increase your confidence.
- Shower every other day and every time you work out. Wash your hair with shampoo and your body with soap.
- Keep your nails trimmed and clean. Normal girls and boys like to paint their nails sometimes, which is perfectly appropriate if you want. Try to keep the polish fresh, and remove it when it starts to get chipped.
- Talk to your parents about when to start wearing makeup if you want. Use a small amount of natural color to highlight your beauty.
Step 4. Style your hair and keep it clean
Hair is just as important as other parts of the body - it takes some work to keep it healthy and clean. Hair should be washed at least every 2-3 days to keep it strong and shiny. Both boys and girls need to comb their hair regularly to keep it untangled and healthy.
- If you use products, don't overdo it. Foam, gel, or hairspray can go a long way. You don't want to have hair that is too fixed and flat like in 1996. Aim for a natural look that enhances your normal hair.
- Experiment with a new haircut, you can try a short cut or let it grow like a rock star. Dye them bright red if school is allowed. Adolescence is the time when you can experience your personality and identity. The hair will grow back.
Step 5. Take care of your body
As a young man it seems to be invincible. You can eat like there's no tomorrow, stay out all night and face the day like nothing has happened, and recover from injuries quickly. Unfortunately, it won't last. It is important to build good habits that will ensure your health throughout your teenage years.
- Pay attention to what and how much you eat. Most teens have a very high metabolism due to growth spikes, which means you can eat a lot of high calorie food without gaining weight, especially if you are physically active and do sports. When that elevated metabolism ends, or you stop playing sports, it is possible to gain weight fast. It is important to develop a love of physical activity early on, so that you can build good habits that will keep you healthy for a long time.
- You don't have to be an athlete to enjoy sports. If you love basketball but don't want to play on the team, go to the park and do some shooting. Who cares if you make a few baskets? If you don't like any competitive sport, try hiking in the woods and entering nature, or try rock climbing, or other solo adventures.
Part 3 of 3: Becoming a Normal Person
Step 1. Find a hobby that helps you relax
As a teenager, you should have hobbies and interests to keep you busy and busy. School is probably not enough. Try to find extra hobbies that will allow you to unplug and have fun. Some extracurricular activities can be a great way to meet other kids your age and to socialize.
- Many teenagers take sport very seriously. Find out what team sports are offered at your school and consider giving it a try to join the team. If you don't like any of the sports on offer, things like tennis lessons, golf lessons, or other more individual sports may be more suitable for you. Heck, try learning fencing.
- Check out the clubs at school. Sports aren't even close to being the only way to socialize at school. Foreign language clubs, the chess club, the art club, ecology club, and all kinds of organizations are available for students to enjoy and learn outside of school. If you don't like any of the clubs in your school, check out the after-school programs at your city's youth center, or church youth group.
- Try the music. Whether in a band, in a group, or starting your own garage band, music can be a great outlet for teens. Studies show that teenagers who study music learn more efficiently, have a lot of fun and have a strong team spirit.
Step 2. Expand your world view
As you grow, it's important to learn as much as possible about other people and learn to exercise your empathy skills. A child thinks only for himself, and an adult is able to think more selflessly, but a teenager is somewhere in between. It can be difficult.
- Mission travel and exchange programs can be excellent and effective experiences for many teens if such an opportunity is available. Likewise, getting a part-time job and learning to work for your maintenance is an important growth step that you can learn in the summer, or over the weekend after school.
- Read as much as possible, and as many different things as you can. Travel from the comfort of a chair consulting novels, travelogues, sci-fi, fantasy, whatever you like to read. Read difficult things and simple things. Always read. Read everything.
Step 3. Try different ways to express yourself
Being a teenager is a time to experiment, try out new identities until you learn what suits you best. In any given year, you might go from wanting to be a doctor to loving your position on the football team, or wanting nothing more than to write poetry and go out with painters and put on black nail polish. That is fine! This is normal!
- Try being an artist. Take some art lessons and learn the fundamentals to see if you'd like to spend your days in the studio, creating weird masterpieces.
- Experience the exciting world of mystery. Many guys take comfort in dark clothing and the ghostly vibes of gothic. Although it may seem "strange", it is quite normal.
- Embrace your inner athlete. Athletes don't have to be the bad guys in high school drama movies. Be a balanced athlete who takes sport seriously. Get good.
Step 4. Find like-minded people
Find a community of people you like and people like you, and get to know them well. Attend them in and out of school. Support and lift each other up.
- Highlight the building of few but strong relationships, instead of many but insignificant. It's not worth having 800 friends on Facebook if you can't talk to any of them in real life.
- Alternatively, it's a good idea to meet a lot of people you don't necessarily have a lot in common with. If you are a sports athlete, hang out with some of the art guys from time to time to see what they all have in common. Try to have friends of all kinds.
Step 5. Make space in your life for school and work
Having fun is important, but taking responsibilities seriously is an equally important part of growing up. Leave enough time in your busy schedule as a teenager to complete homework and work as hard as possible to be successful. Even if you think you are confident in what you want to do in life, and that the plan does not include algebra and trigonometry, give it your all. You never know, you may regret skipping that welding class, or being distracted while sewing.
- Make sure you take great notes. Notes force you to pay attention, improving your memory and providing you with a useful study guide.
- Do your homework. Don't overlook them, because believe it or not, they really help you learn. Pay attention in class and ask questions to stay alert. Respect the teachers and try your best.
Step 6. Think ahead
Where do you want to be in ten years? In twenty? What do you want to do with your life? Difficult questions for anyone, and awkward questions for most, especially teenagers. But it is something you will have to face. The more you struggle with this the better you will prepare for your teenage years, and the more normal you will be. It's something we all struggle with before we move into adulthood.
- If you want to go to college, start by looking for affordable places that you might attend, and that seem to be full of people like you, or places that offer the particular subjects you would like to study. Many teens who struggle to make friends or fit in during high school have no problems during college.
- It is normal to have no idea what you want to do in life. Don't worry too much. This is perfectly normal. When people ask, tell them that you are looking for before getting out of adolescence.
Advice
- Be an individual. Have your own opinions, but don't exclude those of others.
- Learn when to stop and say no! (eg. Say "No" when someone asks you to drink or try a cigar / cigarette. Smoking will not make you normal or beautiful; it will only make non-smokers want to avoid being around you. If you are a minor, And illegal and could lead to cancer). Drinking is illegal under 18 and many people in bars are middle-aged drunkards who will throw up on you. Weed is so 60's, and it's illegal, so don't do it.
- Find ways to have fun with your friends. For different people this means different things. For skaters it means doing some crazy skate stunts and laughing. Consider horse racing, motorcycle and car racing, target racing, paintball, and air-soft. For the different groups, there are several things to do. Play computer games like The Sims, but don't overdo it. Watch what you want and listen to the music you think is best.
Warnings
- Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you are pushed to do something that gives you an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach, give up or run away. Regrets aren't fun, not even for teenagers.
- The definition of normality is relative. Please be aware of cultural differences.
- DO NOT spend all your free time locked up in your room on social networking sites or playing video games. Go outside, get some fresh air and exercise to keep fit.
