Elevators make people uncomfortable. The close proximity, the feeling of being in something like a small box, the feeling of being packed like sardines, and sometimes the need to make a seat and have someone in front of you in the elevator can really push the boundaries of normal social relationships up to a breaking point.
When it seems to you that you may feel a pin drop and the tension is rising, you may be in a mischievously playful mood that makes you want to disturb the peace of the elevator and bump into that subtle social fabric that governs "normal" behavior in this type of situation (i.e., looking away and pretending to think about your own business). If so, give the troublesome practices suggested in this article a try and see the confusion that arises!
Steps
Step 1. You say things that just drive people out of their minds
There are an abundance of silly things you can say in an elevator, and an online search will return hundreds of results. Do a brief study of these results and memorize the ones you prefer and feel are most appropriate for your elevator sense of humor. However, it is recommended to avoid tasteless comments such as falling off the elevator or choking, because some people find it really distressing to be in an elevator and you don't want to cause others to feel sick or panic. Here are some fun jokes to get you started:
- Open a crack in your briefcase or bag. Pretend there is a small creature inside and as you peer inside, ask, "Do you have enough air / space there?"
- When the elevator is nearly full, make sure you stand in the back and yell, “Oh, not now! Seasickness!"
- Stay calm, then suddenly announce something like "I'm wearing new underwear!".
- Suddenly he announces: “Oh damn! I forgot to put on the deodorant today!”.
- Use your cell phone to call the psychic hotline. You say “Hello? Psychic Hotline? Which floor am I on?"
- Lean over to another passenger and consciously state, "They are still watching me."
Step 2. Make a straight face and say “I need to find a more suitable host body” in a truly creepy voice, but with no expression on the face
Step 3. Turn around and stand in front of people
When someone enters the elevator, turn the body in front of him or to his side. And, simply, stare at it. It will be enough to make other people's skin crawl because this is real defiant behavior. Another way to cause a delayed burst reaction in people is to stand in the corner of the elevator. Just stand there, the same way you normally stand in front of a door. This will lead people to ask themselves: "Why on earth?".
Step 4. Whistle or sing
Do it with extreme carelessness and without worrying about anything. Continuing to do this as if it were a perfectly natural way to behave in an elevator is the key to success. If you are particularly inclined, ask others to join you!
Another musical activity would be dancing to the music of the elevator. Move to the beat of the music
Step 5. Do your relaxation exercises
Take this as an opportunity to relax and unwind for some plan. Of course, the type of relaxation activity you put in place will depend on the amount of space left in the elevator, use your common sense.
- Meditate. Close your eyes and chant "Om, om, om, om, om, om" as you stand in the corner of the elevator.
- Practice tai chi or martial arts poses.
- Try to levitate and ask other people how far you get off the floor.
Step 6. Play jokes
If you're a joke type who coincidentally always carries a prop or two with you when you walk around, take advantage of the elevator opportunity. For example, take out your big red nose and put it on, trying to stay very serious. Or press that fart pillow every time a person enters the elevator.
Step 7. Pretend to be the elevator attendant
Say hello to your passengers and ask them to call you Captain Elevator. Ask those who have just entered if you can push the button for them. Go all the way using a set voice announcing the residents of each floor: "Floor number 10. Bluey's office, Rachel's favorite office, the best tea room in the whole building and the only quiet corner of the building for kissing.". Tell people to be careful where they step when they enter or leave and wish them a pleasant day.
Step 8. Talk to your invisible friend
Engage in an animated conversation with someone who… isn't there.
Step 9. Show off your new purchases
If you've just come back from the shops with something new, share your amazing find with whoever is in the elevator. Be exuberant in explaining the virtues of buying and try to make your agitation contagious. It will be difficult for others not to answer.
Step 10. Kiss
If you are with your loved one, this could really disturb the peace. Start a passionate kiss, tell her you couldn't wait to meet her and kiss her all the time. Or make it a really long kiss between floors.
Step 11. Be an idiot
There are an infinite number of possibilities that allow you to act like an idiot on any occasion in life, but an elevator gives you a delightfully imprisoned audience. Here are some perfect idiot behaviors:
- You hold an "Out of Service" sign and say "I wonder why this cute sign was on the doors when I walked in."
- When you get to your floor, grunt and force yourself to open the doors, then feign embarrassment when they open on their own.
- You grimace in pain as you slap your forehead and mutter, “Shut up, damn it! Enough, shut up!"
- On the top floor, keep the doors open and ask them to stay open until you hear the coin you dropped into the stairwell "plink" at the bottom.
- Make animal noises from time to time. A meow, a grunt, a woof, or a muu will confirm your supreme strangeness.
- Exit on each floor. Come back and say, “No, the wrong plan again. Where is my office?”.
- Make a joke and laugh out loud. Maybe don't stop laughing until the next floor.
- Press the elevator buttons and react in horror, as if you had been given a shock.
- Drop something. When another person goes to retrieve it for you, he yells: “NO! That's mine!"
- Pretend to be in labor. If no one takes you seriously, simply reply, "Oh thank goodness, false alarm."
- Wear a shirt that says "LIFE" and give lemons to people.
- If you are holding a box, ask if anyone would like to keep your snake / scorpion / tarantula.
Step 12. Leave the elevator with dignity
Make it look like something unseemly has never happened and show a smile as you exit the elevator. Quietly go back to your daily duties.
Advice
- Press all buttons on the elevator, except the alarm button when it's there.
- If you are carrying a bag, you can look inside and say "I swear the tarantula was here when I entered the elevator …"
- It goes without saying that some of these acts require courage and taking pleasure in making fun of oneself. If you are very serious and don't find these kinds of things fun, no one will ask you to try them.
- If you are in front of someone who does these things and it scares you, try to relax. The elevator ride won't last long and you might even giggle as you walk back to the office with him, rather than an outraged complaint about "how low have people fallen these days!" Be amused and happy for him.
- Choose the timing; some of these annoying behaviors will work best when the elevator is full, others work best when there are only one or two people around.
Warnings
- Some elevators are monitored with microphones and cameras. If you have been particularly strange and / or annoying, it is possible that the security guards of the building will be waiting for you outside when you leave.
- Sometimes people will tell you to shut up and grow up. Take their advice politely and just smile, thank them for their constructive advice and wish them a nice day. Or just ignore them.
- Avoid being noisy. It's just obnoxious.
