If you observe more you will reap many benefits. People-watching can help you find a new job, find out if someone has told you a lie, get people to stand by your side in a fight, and find your dream partner. People (involuntarily) give off signals that reveal their identities and what they want, you just have to know how to observe them. Read the steps below if you want to know how to make sense of body language, facial expressions, and communication styles without letting you notice them.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Observe More
Step 1. Don't rush
Do you always run your errands quickly without even taking a break for a drink? Observing takes practice and begins by slowing down and stopping to observe. You can't do it if you're always in a hurry and doing it just a couple of times won't help. You can practice doing something by taking the time you need to relax and talk.
- Start with your family members. Do you only half listen to the things your children or partner tell you? Put down your cell phone or tablet and look the person in the eye. To observe well, you must first know how to listen.
- Change your approach if you are always in a hurry to work every morning by greeting everyone with a simple "Hello" without looking anyone in the face. Stop and talk to your boss or colleague for a few minutes, giving him more attention. So you will be able to notice more things.
- Walking down the street, taking the subway or soaking up the crowds gives you the opportunity to practice and observe better. Don't look through people, look through people. Notice people. What do you see?
Step 2. Get out of your mind
It will be difficult to observe if you are always worried about thinking about your desires, insecurity and so on. To observe more, put your needs aside and focus on the people. It takes practice, as habits are difficult to change. Pay attention to where your thoughts take you and consciously focus on the people you observe.
- If you go to a party and immediately worry about finding someone nice to talk to, going for a drink immediately, or finding the nearest exit, you're not giving your brain space to observe. Take a step back and focus on the people (you'll have even more fun).
- If you are worried while talking to someone if your lipstick is smudged or if you have a good laugh, then you are not observing. Don't worry about yourself; focus on the other person, you will learn a lot of things like that.
Step 3. Don't be obvious
You won't be able to read someone well if the way you do it is too obvious. People may subconsciously start sending signals to distort reality or, even worse, feel annoyed. Behave normally, even while your mind is processing information carefully.
- Don't stare. People feel that something is wrong if you keep staring at them. Even if your mind is completely focused on someone, be sure to look away from time to time.
- If you observe someone from a distance, do not attract attention. If you're at a party, for example, don't stand in a corner watching someone you care about. Or, if instead of attending you don't want to get noticed, make sure you stay in a place where you won't make anyone suspicious.
Step 4. Observe when people think no one is observing you
People reveal a lot of things when they realize that no one is watching them. So watch especially when people are feeling relaxed and calm. So you will read someone's behavior, identifying their true emotions.
- You may notice a colleague's expression as they walk down an empty hallway.
- Pay attention to people's expressions after finishing a conversation as they return to their seats.
- Sit in a park or coffee shop with an open newspaper and take the time to observe the people around you.
Step 5. Note the differences
After reading someone's behavior you can compare it to their future attitudes to notice differences. You may discover several interesting things, such as the fact that they are hiding something and how they express their emotions.
Step 6. Note the reactions
In some situations, people's immediate reactions can be evidence of true thoughts and emotions. As you observe someone, notice their expression when news is communicated to them. You can communicate the news yourself and notice what happens.
For example, if you are at a dinner party with friends and one of you announces that he has had a raise from his boss, watch the reactions of the others. Those who do not congratulate right away may not be happy with this fact, perhaps it is jealousy?
Step 7. Look at the details
Write down the things you observe to begin noticing the details. It will help you understand an individual better and also better understand the human race in general. You will begin to notice the small details that show people's worries, desires, stresses, fears and weaknesses. All of this information will help you hone your observing skills, so you can make last-minute inferences that may even be true.
Method 2 of 3: Know what to observe
Step 1. Observe body language
Body language can reveal a lot. People often say the same thing, but body language says so much more. Observe the position of people's heads, arms, hands, backs, legs and feet. What can you learn from body language?
- If someone says "Yes" to you while shaking their head, it may actually mean "No."
- If someone does not look you in the eye while talking, it means that they are not comfortable (often not looking in the eyes is synonymous with a lie, while doing the opposite confirms a truth).
- If someone keeps a certain distance while talking to you, it means that they are afraid or stressed.
- If someone crosses their arms, it means that they are not comfortable in a certain situation.
- If someone has poor or crooked posture, it could mean that they have a lack of self-confidence.
- If someone stamps their foot, they may be anxious or impatient.
- If a woman touches her throat, she may feel vulnerable.
- If a man strokes his chin, he may be anxious.
Step 2. Look closely at the facial expressions
Can you notice the slightest differences in the facial expressions with which people communicate feelings, from happiness to desolation? Some are able to notice certain feelings such as impatience and irritation well, while others have difficulty even distinguishing the most common feelings, such as worry and boredom. You will be able to better understand the people around you when you read their feelings well.
- If you think you need to improve this skill, do it by guessing people's feelings. For example, if someone smiles, don't think it's always "happiness". Observe the details that serve to uncover true and hidden feelings. Do you smile only with your mouth or with your whole face (including eyes)? In the first case it's about joy, in the second it's fun.
- Studies show that reading novels helps develop greater empathy, which improves observation.
Step 3. Listen carefully
The way of speaking is an important factor in the communication of feelings. The cadence, pitch and volume of the voice are all important factors. Notice if a person speaks slowly or quickly, louder or quieter than normal, loud or quiet.
- People who whisper or talk softly may be shy or have low self-confidence.
- People who speak fast are often agitated.
- People who have a higher pitch than normal often lie.
- People who want to impose their ideas often speak in a lower tone.
Step 4. Observe people's breathing
It is one of the easiest signs to observe, as this is difficult to control. Notice if someone is breathing fast or deeply, and if they are short of breath.
- If someone's breathing becomes faster, this could indicate a stressor caused by the situation.
- Wheezing could indicate health problems.
- It could also mean that they are attracted to someone, possibly you…
Step 5. Observe the size of the pupils
Small pupils indicate drug use. Dilated pupils indicate attraction or pleasure. When looking at someone's pupils, don't be fooled by the light, however, strong lighting may cause the pupils to narrow while poor lighting may cause them to widen.
Step 6. See if they sweat
This is a factor that indicates the presence of adrenaline in the body which can mean stress, joy or worry, depending on the situation. Look at the face or underarm area of the shirt to see if it is sweaty (certainly take the weather conditions into account).
Step 7. Look at people's clothing and hair
Regardless of body language, facial expressions, and other physical indicators, you can understand so much simply by the way someone presents themselves. Clothing, accessories, hair styling and makeup already reveal so much.
- First, obviously take note of the most obvious things: a person in an expensive suit could be an employee; a person wearing the cross around his neck could be a Christian; a person with a Grateful Dead shirt and sandals could be a hippy; etc.
- Take a closer look at the details - white hair on your colleague's black pants. The mud caked on someone's shoes. An eaten nail. The hairline covered by the clip. What do these details suggest?
Step 8. Notice people's habits
If you've been watching someone for a while, check out what makes them unique. What do you read on the train? What do you drink in the morning? Do you order to eat or bring your lunch from home? Do you constantly avoid talking about your husband? You can learn something from all these details.
Method 3 of 3: Interpreting What You Observe
Step 1. Use your imagination
Now that you have observed these things, what have you learned? Imagining what's behind all of this is the funniest part of watching. Regardless of whether it is someone in particular or people in general, now you have to "connect the dots to form the pattern".
- When it comes to people in general, it can be fun to imagine stories. Where does that man who takes the train every morning come from and what does he do? What can you deduce based on how she dresses and the station she gets off at?
- It's fun to imagine different things, but if you want to understand people you really have to prove that the things you imagine are true.
Step 2. Ask yourself why to have a theory
You've already gotten the thing of this scenario: your observations. The next logical thing to do to understand someone is to find out why certain things are. It will serve to clarify things about people's lives and where they come from.
- For example, if you observe someone talking fast and sweating while answering your question about a future project, why do you think they react like that? Could she be worried about failing? Could he lie?
- Refine your theory by asking more specific questions and looking more closely.
- Put the puzzle pieces together. After you have your theory, determine if your observations support it.
Step 3. Find out if you are right
After making deductions based on your analyzes and observations, it is important to find a way to know if you are right or not. If your conclusions are often false, you will need to improve your observation techniques.
For example, you noticed that a friend of yours smiles when he talks to you, his pupils dilate and his hands sweat a little (plus, he wears blue colored clothes because you told him that it goes well with the color of his eyes and always waits for you in the afternoon after class). Based on these observations, you conclude that your friend has a crush on him. Determine if your conclusion is true by flirting with him and observing his reactions, or simply asking if he has feelings for you
Step 4. Learn from your mistakes
Often you will come to correct conclusions, while sometimes they will be completely wrong. Even though people betray their emotions through body language and more, they are good enough at protecting their emotions. The purpose of people watching is very useful because you will be able to better understand the people around you, but don't fool yourself that you can read their minds just by looking at them for a moment. The mystery of the people is what makes observation fun.
Advice
- If you observe someone, don't stare. Watch it for a few seconds, then go back to reading and so on.
- If you observe someone for a long time, change clothes (coat, shoes, glasses, sunglasses and even wear wigs).
- If you are sitting, many people put their heads on their hands. If you have a watch with a black background you can pretend to look at it while people are watching instead.
- Try to master these techniques when you observe someone, it will take a lot of practice and you will have to know how to determine when someone becomes suspicious.
