Being indifferent means being objective in analyzing the things that happen around you. Instead of getting involved in the drama and emotion, enjoy the show! The people around you are involved in their own business - how nice it would be to sit and watch, carefree. It is really mind over matter. Here's how to do it.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part 1: Thinking Indifferently
Step 1. Get away from yourself
There are several "you" that exist at the same time. A bit like Freud's ego, ego and super-ego. To begin with, there is the "you" acting. Then, there is a "you" that controls behavior (a very evolved you). And then there is actually a part of you that can look at things from the outside, completely from another point of view; and it is the latter that is necessary to be able to become indifferent. If this confuses you a little, let's put it this way:
- There is the "you" that simply does and exists. It is like the child within you - this is the first "you". Eat, breathe, do the common things of all human beings. This you absolutely do not question. It is the you who is reading right now.
- Then there is the "you" who controls all of this behavior, thinks and makes it socially acceptable, making sure you survive, etc. You've never asked yourself things like, "My God, why did I eat 5 slices of pizza ?!" This is the second "yourself".
- The third "you" is a little more elusive. It can watch your behavior, think and evolve, coming to self-aware conclusions. This is the "you" we focus on. This "yourself" does not really live things or need them - it just observes. Is indifferent.
Step 2. Think of life as a movie
To focus on this third "yourself", you have to think of life as a movie. I mean, you need to be a little less involved in what's going on. Emotions don't really have a place, or, if they do, they just skim the surface and have no real repercussions. What kind of movie are you in right now? Who is in control? What could happen?
If you understand this way of thinking, you can begin to see examples and think outside the box, less selfishly, with more imagination. For example, right now you are sitting at home, eating a bowl of cereal and browsing wikiHow. What is your character feeling and why? Could it change in the next few days? Observing an emotion, recognizing its presence, is very different from experiencing it
Step 3. Know it's not a big deal
Whatever it is. For real. It is not a big deal. In the grand scheme of things, few things are. Perhaps the eventual collapse of the universe? This seems like a big deal. But the pimple that you find yourself in the middle of your forehead? That comment that may have been made in bad faith? No, they are not serious problems … Why should these small issues cause you any reaction or emotion?
When nothing is a big deal, it's hard to be worried. However, it is also difficult to be happy. Know that it is always about giving and receiving. In a recent study, people who believed they had no purpose in life, without worrying about it, had a rather moderate perception of happiness. So, just as you don't worry that your bum dumped you boyfriend, you won't be super happy when you get a job promotion… because you don't have any big expectations
Step 4. Open your mind
Being indifferent means leaving our assumptions, our beliefs, our pride, our emotions and our vulnerability out the door. To do this, our minds must be completely open. Is there any madman worried about your sexual orientation / gender / definition / race? Hmm. Interesting. Who knows why he thinks so? Any reaction on your part should be simply out of curiosity - you should never feel offended, angry, or defensive.
Staying rational and logical is a huge obstacle for many of us. When someone says something personal that attacks our conventions, we naturally want to talk to them and put it in their place. Do not do it! You need to keep an open mind and not get attached to your views on the matter. So if this person thinks differently, good for him
Step 5. Think about the process behind the content
Whenever you are interacting with others, think of them as characters. Think about their background and why they say what they are saying, and do what they are doing. And when they talk, what do their words mean? In summary, think about the path behind the content.
When someone says, "Hey, man, there really is something I want to tell you, but I really shouldn't", they're actually saying, "Please pay attention to me, I have some gossip and it would give me immense satisfaction to tell you if you beg me.. " The process (what it actually means) is still behind the content (what actually came out of its mouth). If you can see the intention behind the content it becomes a lot easier for you to deal with what's really going on (and take you out of the situation)
Method 2 of 3: Part 2: Appearing Indifferent
Step 1. Keep your facial expressions to a minimum
Being indifferent is all appearance, as if nothing matters to you. To maintain this impression, it is important not to show your feelings on your face. If your words are, "Oh, that's a little interesting," you don't seem indifferent if you raise your eyebrows, make horrified eyes, and open your mouth wide.
It is not about reacting negatively or positively or even not reacting. You are still present; you are still a living human being. It's just about hearing or seeing something and taking it slow and above all not taking it personally. Kind of like the reaction you may have when your friend's little sister starts talking about her addiction to potato chips. A modest curiosity, at best
Step 2. Don't let your body go on its own
So, you have reduced facial expressions; the time has come to make sure your body is consistent with what your facial expressions are saying. Apparently most body language is just that: the body. Even if your words and your face scream "I can't care less", but your body makes it clear that you are uncomfortable, you are no longer indifferent.
You should always have an open, relaxed position. As if you were watching a discreet movie. You are still involved, but you are comfortable and stress-free. And if you're trying to convince your friends that you're indifferent, hanging around with them isn't the way to mask your body language
Step 3. Stay open and receptive
Too much indifference can easily be mistaken for detachment, coldness, or just plain negativity. Indifference is not that! You are still open, welcoming and receptive; you just don't care if the people who come to you feel welcomed or not. You can do your thing whether or not they are in the room, you would behave the same way.
Since you are an observer, you have no reason to withdraw into yourself. Even if your partner is yelling at you, don't cross your arms or cross your legs. This is just his need to be in control and you can deal with it when you can have a calm conversation. You stay and listen to what he has to say, but you are only hearing the arguments to address them with an objective analysis
Step 4. Don't overdo it
Some of us want to be indifferent by achieving some kind of self-satisfaction. We want to get back with an ex, show our boss / parents / siblings that we don't care that much, etc… If that's the case, don't overdo it! If you do this, your indifference is a facade, a scene. You are no longer indifferent, you have become a fake.
Method 3 of 3: Part 3: Posing as Indifferent
Step 1. Be calm
Since nothing is a big deal and you are analyzing the process from afar anyway, why shouldn't you take it easy? You have nothing to lose in 99% of life situations, when it all comes down to it, so why waste your energy?
Many people get stressed out in life situations, whether it's meeting a deadline, an argument with a boyfriend, or a drama between friends. It happens because they care about the outcome, something you don't do. So the next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, don't think about any of it. It will pass pretty soon anyway
Step 2. Be stoic
In addition to staying calm, it's important to be stoic (show little emotion). You are not only stress free since '93, but you are also never angry, sad, or too happy. The situations around you don't involve you very much, so you don't have much reason to feel intense emotions.
Whether it's "You killed my fish!" or "I'm leaving you" or "Justin Bieber just called me last night," your reaction should be like someone saying to you, "I bought a new lamp today." That's all. Maybe you want to know what color it is, or maybe not. You wonder if you want to know
Step 3. Be objective
The world is full of opinions. Everyone has their own. And most people show it quite readily. On the other hand, you are not most people. You see both sides of the coin and you analyze situations for what they are, you don't see them through a cloud of emotions.
This also means seeing your side of the coin. Sometimes it is difficult to see the forest through the trees, but with the practice of being aware of your behavior it is possible. So when you are arguing with a friend, you see what is driving them, but you also understand what is driving you
Step 4. Go through the process
When dealing with people, you don't necessarily have to respond to their words. You have to respond to what they are really saying. Ignore the content and rely on the process. It will help you be objective and remove the emotions that swirl around you. Instead, think about people's predispositions, trends and complexes; it remains in rather neutral territory.
Let's say that Giulia gave Pietro, her husband, a list of things to do. Pietro doesn't do them and Giulia gets angry. Pietro begins to think that Giulia is a big grumpy and Giulia thinks that Pietro is lazy and doesn't care about her. Instead, Pietro should think about how that list of things is really necessary for Giulia's life to get organized and she should ask him for help to do this. Giulia must realize that she is translating Pietro's behavior in her own way and that Pietro is simply acting on a different wavelength. Only when both are able to see their behavior from the outside, objectively, will it be possible to resolve the situation that has arisen
Step 5. Use the courtesy you would show to a complete stranger
If you are truly indifferent, you don't prefer one person over another. Again, it's like you're alone in the room. If there is a specific person you want to convince of your indifference, treat them as if they were a stranger. You must definitely be civil, you must certainly respond if he talks to you and makes you chat, but when he leaves, it all ends there. And this is good.
This also works with enemies. Even if you hate a person, indifference is more powerful. They expect you to react, and if you don't, they don't know what to do. So, be civil to them and kill them with indifferent kindness
Advice
- It doesn't matter what others think. Some have nothing else to do but think. Stop worrying about their thoughts.
- The past is past, the future is unknown, the memory is a shame, the worry is only pain; to live healthily live in the moment.
- Peace exists only in the mind! For complete peace, you only need peace: you don't need anything else!
- Desire has infinite chains. Maybe even more!
- Eliminating whims and desires makes you more peaceful.
- When you reach the root of desire and fully understand it, it becomes easier to remove it.
- Remember, true happiness NEVER depends on external things such as one's image, or possession of material possessions (money, fame, power, etc.), nor does it depend on one's external body-mind conditions or others. True happiness does not depend on all these things which are ephemeral.
- Forgive everyone, because they do what seems right to them at a given moment.
Warnings
- These thoughts only work if you truly believe in them.
- Introspection is always the key to accepting things.
