The prejudices and preconceptions buried in the unconscious are surprisingly strong and influence our decisions, affect our feelings and consequently our actions. Sometimes we fail to recognize their power over us, becoming even more dangerous. In order to overcome preconceptions, it is first of all important to understand them, and this article contains some indications to succeed.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Understanding the Prejudice
Step 1. Consider various techniques for analyzing your preconception
These thoughts affect us in ways that we rarely fully understand, even when we are aware that we have them and would like to address them. We see ordinary people living happy lives almost everywhere, but all have somehow a prejudice that influences and directs their intentions. They can be of a positive or negative nature; they interact with our way of acting, of relating to others and in events. It is very important to compare them, because they are concepts that arise in our mind, whether they are serious or less serious preconceptions. Here are some things to consider:
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People form their personal identity based on a wide range of aspects, and prejudices are among the most intense. Sometimes we hold them back because we believe these thoughts make us who we are. However, ultimately, a preconception is not the foundation of our self. On the contrary, prejudices often change. The effort it takes to let go of one of these thoughts is directly proportional to how valuable it is to us.
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People with similar preconceptions often join together as raindrops form a lake. There is nothing wrong with this, but dating people with the same mentality strongly influences us, as if it were group pressure. People choose their partners, friends and associates based on personal preconceptions and often behave in such a way that others adopt the same thoughts without even realizing it. This is a very common attitude, because we all want friends to be like us. This mechanism is also triggered in reverse: we want to be like our friends and therefore we adopt their own preconceptions. We are highly susceptible to and influenced by those around us (modern and past history shows that mankind is able to commit suicide, kill and start wars due to the power of influence). One example that everyone can relate to: Many employers select employees with similar thoughts and feelings.
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Prejudice and bias may have been told to you or you may have overheard them. In this case it is not your original opinion, but rather that of someone else and that you have adopted. It may be a recent or outdated thought, but the older it is, the harder it will be to overcome its influence.
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Sometimes prejudices reappear in the mind by impulse, prompted by something we have seen or heard. They can also develop thanks to similar thoughts that are within us. Very often behind a prejudice there is an emotion, such as greed (wanting something to happen), contempt (rejecting something or wanting it to go away) or even just ignorance about the subject under discussion.
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Step 2. Explore the dynamics of preconceptions
Meditation is a good analytical technique to understand how our mind reacts to them and how we create them. Another good method is to talk to a friend, counselor, or psychologist about it.
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These thoughts are often complex, most of the time because our mind relies on them and uses them as a yardstick to process the data. Each interaction and experience is compared by our mind to be analyzed and determined. With this process we can come to the conclusion that experience is a preconception (new or reinforcing an existing one) but in order to be able to process it we need pre-existing prejudices and hypotheses that we have developed over the course of our life.
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The comparison process is exclusively related to the past, specifically to the information we have heard, to the people who have influenced us or to our experiences. If a mind is free from assumptions and hypotheses, it approaches events like a clean slate, but with the firm intention of defining the event itself. Recognizing our addiction to the past or understanding how the past affects our current judgment is not an everyday thing and proves to be a very useful process for overcoming prejudice.
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As a result, people rarely like individuals who "take no stand", who do not express their emotions and who are neutral. The reason lies in the fact that it is not easy to categorize these subjects, predict their actions, rely on them or “manipulate” them to adapt to our needs. Being able to rely on another person is an important aspect but, even if it is a reliable person, people will be hesitant to do so, if it does not inspire trust. Trust is often built on sharing common preconceptions so as to be able to identify and "categorize" the other.
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The downside is that when you meet a person with admirable and good skills, you are inclined to adopt and practice the same characteristics. Normally this is defined as positive influence, but it works in the same way as negative influence (when someone behaves badly or in a dangerous way). We model our good behavior based on the qualities we possess, but only through the actions we see others perform in our environment. We adopt these prejudices to be accepted, for better or for worse, but it can also be a way to improve ourselves if the preconceptions are positive.
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Part 2 of 2: Working on Prejudice
Step 1. Recognize that certain preconceptions exist
This is the first step to overcome them. This means admitting that you have them, and not just thinking they are in your mind. It is often difficult to be honest with yourself because it is almost a humiliating act. But this is the way to explore your inner self to prepare to be even more open. By admitting your preconceptions and the fact that the mind relies on them, you are one step closer to the goal of getting rid of them.
Step 2. Consider why it is so difficult to remove these thoughts
There are three major problems:
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1. You often feel distant or uncomfortable with the fact that the object of a prejudice simply exists. This is because you know little or nothing about it. You may have heard a lot of negative comments and stories about the object of your prejudice, but how many are true and important?
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2. Because you identify with your own prejudices, you may feel like a part of you is breaking down, or you think you are betraying your cultural identity for someone / something you don't know. These are the main reasons why people are very reluctant to give up their preconceptions. You need to ask yourself the same question regarding bias: Are they causing you more problems or more good things?
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3. You feel like you have preconceptions but haven't really come to the conclusion that you should abandon them. So parts of your mind struggle to overcome prejudice, while others are still adamant about it.
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Step 3. Ask yourself questions
This is an effective technique not only for introspection, but also for loosening the grip that prejudices have on you. Regardless of where your thoughts / biases come from, you can ask yourself: "Is this bias right, relevant or even worth having?"; or: "Does this prejudice belong to me?"; or: "Is it useful for someone?"; "Okay, it's a prejudice, but what exactly is it, how did I make it mine, why is it so strong and why do I find it so important?". This process helps you to better understand your thoughts, which will thus lose their attractiveness.
Many philosophers have sung the praises of being devoid of preconceptions, in the sense of being completely neutral. That way nothing bad stays inside you, even if you live life fully you won't be overwhelmed by preconceptions. All of this means that you can avoid getting involved in unnecessary discussions, as you have overcome a trapping system and can be happy and wise
Step 4. Approach the subject of your prejudice with an open mind
The most effective (and difficult) technique is to meet him face to face. For example, let's say you have a bias towards a certain religion or nationality. Do some research to see if the embassy or religious community in question organizes open days and meet the people who are part of it. You will find that your preconception is unwarranted and at the same time you will make new friends.
- Look for the human side. Everyone is human, they have feelings, thoughts, desires and dreams. Everyone identifies with their own culture and, at times, in a specific historical moment, the different cultures are isolated from each other and develop differences.
- Use the time to your advantage. Prejudices have their roots over time, which means they are subject to change and change. With each passing month or year, or on any special date (like a birthday) you can decide to commit to leaving the past behind and facing the future with a virgin mindset.
Step 5. Finally take one step at a time
The more you want to let go of prejudice, the easier it will be. The whole process consists of understanding what a prejudice is and how you made it yours, if it is positive and will do you good, or if it is negative and it will make you cruel. Then check your feelings on certain topics on a regular basis. In this way you can start building skills to abandon preconceptions and overcome them through analysis and attention.
Advice
If you've never meditated before, look for a reliable technique. This is the road you must take so that you, your loved ones, friends and acquaintances gradually up to strangers and people who live in other lands, be happy, healthy and fulfilled. It is very useful for overcoming any prejudice and becoming strong enough to wish the subjects of your preconception the same happiness and health. Obviously it is a time-consuming process, as solid self-knowledge is required
Warnings
- Pursuing perfection can be a problem as it leads to multiple preconceptions and ideals. No human being is 100% perfect or 100% imperfect.
- We cannot help others with their prejudices, we can only work on our own. Trying to change someone else induces a defensive reaction that makes them evasive and / or aggressive. Since no one is perfect (the desire for perfection is a thing created by man), it is a useless behavior.
