Refusing a friendly request or gesture may require firmness, but sometimes it is necessary. When you can't or don't want to do something, take courage and refuse in a polite but firm way. But if you are not ready, you are simply not ready.
Steps
Step 1. Listen politely to the request
Don't interrupt the speaker.
Step 2. Express your rejection in the simplest way possible
Don't raise your voice and don't get angry, just say you can't help this time. When you say no, do it in a confident, well-modulated voice to sound more convincing.
Step 3. Pass the "responsibility" for your refusal to something else
For example, you could say "I might as well, but I have a full agenda right now. Shall we do another time? ". You don't have to give any other explanations. In this way any possible resentment that could arise will be towards your busy schedule.
Step 4. Try not to fight
Step 5. Don't feel obligated to give an explanation
You have your reasons and maybe you don't want to talk to the person in question. If that's the case, you might say something like, "I'm not capable." Put it this way - if you have to, change the subject or leave the conversation with, "I'm sorry, but I have to go now."
Step 6. Explain in a simple way, and only if you want to
If it's a situation where you feel the need to explain, do it as simply as possible.
Step 7. Be firm
If the person asking you does not accept your answer, tell them that you have already decided and you will not change your mind.
Step 8. Remember that he is asking for some of your time and you can choose whether to accept or refuse to do what is asked of you
Advice
- Don't be afraid to say no.
- If your refusal irritates someone, stay calm and get out of that situation if possible. If you can't do this, change the subject or compliment him on something.
- Be respectful, even if the person making the request isn't: remember that two wrongs don't make a right!
- Anticipate your NO by saying, "I understand what you mean" before refusing - it helps people feel understood.
- This approach can be used with both sellers and non-friends. Those who do telemarketers are also human beings.
- Practice in the mirror if you have a bad habit of not saying what you think and are unable to say "no".
- It is usually better to refuse something by speaking directly with the person concerned, but if it makes you uncomfortable, you can ask for the assistance of a third person who knows what might happen next.
- Don't lie when you explain why your answer is no. For example, if you don't want your sister and brother-in-law to sleep in your house on the weekend because they are very messy, don't say you need to disinfect the house. Instead, try, "This weekend is not a good time to have guests.". If they insist, try "We have to do a lot of errands and housekeeping that we missed this week, and we wouldn't be able to if we had company." Hopefully, this should end the conversation. And then, to be honest, it's also the truth, right?
